Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
"ITS OK TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS."
Friday, December 18, 2009
"Is this movie more entertaining than a documentary of the same actors having lunch?"
Check this out, from his review of that absolutely shittacular-looking new schmear featuring SJP and Hugh Grant:
Saints preserve us! Not another one of those movies where Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker end up as the front and back halves of a rodeo clown's cow suit! What's that you say? This is the first one where they've been inside the cow? Does it feel that way to you? What's that you say? You bet they'll be chased by a bear? Come on, now: surely only one of them!I love that he's so free to be this sarcastic and dismissive -- he's earned the right, after his long career, to not have to take shit like this seriously, Shatner bless 'im.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Dear Shatner Claus:
My ENTIRE LIFE I've wanted an office in the Empire State Building. My entire life.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I'm not even sure I believe that stuff about the 9-hour sexings.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
C'mon, wolf out. Wolf it. Wolf it up.
Labels: cryin' amazacrazy, I'm just sayin, movie rules, rando, sickened repugnance, the horror ... the horror, unreasonable and probably ill-founded prejudices, way too old for this kind of shit anymore
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
"His brain is squirming like a toad." What? Srsly. What?
Morrison was immortalized first by death at 27 and then by three generations of college kids who needed a poster to cover up a creepy-looking stain in their dorm room. That voice plus thirty pounds of extra flab wouldn’t have gotten Jim Morrison past the cattle-call round of “American Idol.”
And I laaaaaaaaaughed and laughed and laughed. Because y’all, Jim Morrison is the most jive frontman of the most jive band ever (Buddyhead says that title actually goes to Courtney Taylor of the Dandy Warhols, but in this instance and ONLY in this instance, they are wrong. I love the Dandy Warhols. Suck it, Buddyhead!).
I had my Morrison/Doors phase. If you are a straight female, a gay male, or a nascent music person of any gender or orientation, you had your Morrison/Doors phase too. Some of you may still be in yours, and for that, I’m sorry (unless you’re still fifteen, in which case you’ll get over it I hope, or you’re coming out of a lifetime of repression in some weird religious subculture, in which case you just go ahead and do what you need to do, old kid old sock).
Mine coincided with the release of the Doors movie (which my friend Lebowski was an extra in! woo!), and that only fueled the fire. The stupid, stupid fire. Plus also the still-awesome Danny Sugerman book, Wonderland Avenue. That shit had me writing Doors quotes all over my textbook covers and in yearbook signings for sure,y’all. Lizard King, Jesus H. Shatner with long locks, leather pants and a hairless chest … oi.
And with the exception of “People Are Strange,” which is truly a cool weird awesome little song, the music … ugh. Blow City, USA.
Thus has it been written, so let it be told across the land.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Oh dear, and I just told the whole Internets to grow the fuck up.
We watched the new Star Trek movie (the JJ Abrams joint), and despite the fact that I CANNOT STAND the whole Trekiverse, from TOS to whatever iteration it's in lately, with or without Wil Wheaton, I really liked the movie. Cool story, looked great, love to see Harold (of Harold & Kumar) gettin work, tripped out on how the Romulan ships looked so ... biological, like nasty burrs and filoviruses (hantavirus, Ebola Marburg, all the good ones).
But the thing is -- and I was really, really surprised, and kept having to, like, step out of the story and ask myself in my head if I was for real or what, on this -- the thing is: That new Spock was hot. As in, strangely but undeniably ... attractive.
You just never know, do ya?
Friday, December 04, 2009
Grow the fuck up.
--He SAID he was going to make mistakes, and make decisions you/me/we would disagree with. He fucking said it. He was being honest. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that.
--However, I do believe completely that he is trying his level motherfuckin best to do the most good for the most people. This also is a wholly refreshing and unfamiliar feeling.
--Change is slow to come. Sometimes it's a hundred steps backward before it's one step forward. By all means, let's hold him to his word, but can we give him some goddamn space, a little room to WORK? He's only one man, y'all.
Mark Morford said it better than I could. And these lists of Obama's accomplishments so far? Inspiring -- wonderful -- heartening.
Whatever childish fantasies people held about him have by now worn off -- and that's a good thing. Let's let the real person continue his real work, and keep letting him know what we want.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Jeremy Jordan! All right!
I have been laughing like a GOD. DAMN. LUNATIC. for like two days over the line, "At WBH, Andrea mooches an invitation to Steve's to study, because she can't take the Alfred B. Cooke course because she's a poor."
A poor. Oh holy Shatner, I am in TEARS right now ... a POOR!!!!
Heeeee. You're welcome.