Monday, April 06, 2020

findin out that even if you have 1000 acres, you can't live on but a few square feet of it at once

So in all this fuckshit new world pandemic fuckery, I am finding joy in the little things, such as imagining how miserable life in quarantine must be for middle-aged dudes who cheated on their wives, got found out, and moved out to live with their 20-something side pieces. I do have two specific dudes in mind (their former wives are my friends), but I'm sure their numbers are legion -- and y'all, even a really epic blowjay can only last like half an hour or thereabouts, so what do these folks do with the other 23.5? I mean, technically, she's an adult, you can't just take away her iPad if she's being annoying ... and y'all can't go anywhere (no restaurants, bars, parties, movies, shopping, "romantic getaways," lol) and there's nobody else around. The gal is probably getting to the edge of insanity, looking at your neck wattles, waiting out your two-hour morning poop, putting up with your classic rock ... and if you already had another side piece, you can't sneak off to see that one, either! In conclusion, if there is a hell, you're already in it, thunderdick, and I ain't the least bit sorry.

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