So this kid who is in lurrrrve with my kid asked me at his birthday party on Sunday, "What's your name?" Caught off-guard, I said, "It's [Winona]. But you can call me Ms. [Gleemonex]." And since that sounded so stiff, and the kid is five and looked kind of confused, I hastily added, "Or just [Kid Gleemonex]'s Mom."
Because whaaat? I found myself suddenly at war with myself: The instinct to be cool (use a first name cause that's what's done these days) vs. the deeply-ingrained sense of right and proper division between Kid World and Adult World vs. straight practicality & ease of use.
Complicated, of course, by the fact that this particular kid, as I said, is in lurrrrve with my kid. He seems sweet, and he has a rad mohawk, and he fell in instant and total love with Kid Gleemonex from the moment they were seated together on the first day of Kindergarten. He waves at her and shouts "HI KG!" when he sees her every morning, he reported to me on Friday that he had kissed her (to which I said sternly, "Was that OK with her?" and they both laughed but I was fucking serious
, and I've had half a dozen conversations with her since then about how if anyone
-- kid, adult, relative, teacher, whomever -- tries to touch her or kiss her or hug her or whatever and she doesn't want them to, she should say No and insist on it and tell an adult if they don't stop, even if she's been ok with it before and even if she likes that person generally, and etc. etc. etc. CONSENT IS REQUIRED AT ALL TIMES AND IS REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME FOR ANY REASON), he invited her to his birthday party (we went, and he ignored all his other guests to hang with her), and yesterday he called out "I LOVE YOU KG!" when we were leaving school. She's all "whatever" about it -- she likes him, too, and they bomb around on the playground (playing Zombies? WTF?), but she's nowhere near that intensity. KIDS.
Anyway, that has me thinking a lot lately about how deeply uncomfortable I am with the whole little kid "boyfriend/girlfriend" nonsense. This one friend of the Gleemonex family has been pushing that kind of thing since the moment each of his sons were born -- "Oh hey, Baby Inappropriate, heeeere's your little girlfriend!" "He's a total chick magnet!" "Look out, we better not let them be alone in a room together for long -- I don't want to be a grandpa yet!" FUCKING GROSS, and a thousand times more so because you're talking about TODDLERS. Now, that guy is an extreme, but there seems to be this prevailing attitude that it's just adorrrrable, and to be indulged and encouraged wherever possible, for little little kids -- particularly boys -- to fixate on some other kid, particularly girls.
There's a lot more rattling around in my head on this subject, but ... I am tired, and it's only the third week of Kindergarten.
Labels: cryin' amazacrazy, Jesus H. Christ in a sidecar drinking tequila, where is my mind? waaay out there on the water -- see it swimming