And Phineas Nigellus has the greatest speech about "young people" and why he loathes them, which I dogeared for future reference.

Thoughts On Re-reading All Seven Harry Potter Books One Right After the Other

--You know, I really wish JKR had not made quite so very terribly much of Snape's hooked nose and greasy hair. Eeep.

--Goddamn, is Luna Lovegood awesome! She's my absolute favorite re-discovery. Her commentary on that one Quidditch match alone is worth the entire re-read.

--Umbridge is even more loathsome than I remember, and I swear I've met at least a half dozen women like her in my life (Cowburg, Texass peeps: I'm thinking of our 7th grade English teacher, Molly F., for one, who fits this description right down to the toadlike smile -- amirite?).

--The internal logic of this series is super, super tight. Walking Dead writers/producers, y'all reading this? I love y'all, but you need to get schooled by J.K. Rowling.

--Sirius and James are super, super dickbags. And the adult Sirius still behaves like a petulant teenager, which actually demonstrates a remarkable consistency of character that I appreciate in this series; so many of your peaked-in-high-school types never grow out of that, and she's not afraid to show how it plays out in adulthood.

--The gender equality is almost on par with Battlestar Galactica, and that's really saying something. Not to say that there aren't trouble spots, but even though the main character is a guy, that definitely doesn't mean that only boys get to do stuff and have adventures and be brave or foolish or scared or smart or idiotic while the girls sit around and wait for news, you know?

--There's some sexy stuff in there, man. It's all PG, and I guarantee you that if I were reading this as a school-age yute, it would all have sailed completely over my head, but -- ahh, I can definitely see how these books launched a billion sweaty fanfics, is all I'm sayin.

Eat your cereal with a fork

I am sure that the Germans must have a word for the sensation -- one-fifth crushing, four-fifths barking hilarious -- that happens when you're driving to Whole Foods in your Prius, switching stations on Sirius, hitting 90s on 9 just as "Joey" comes on, and you punch the volume up button like fifteen times and sing along like you're sixteen and Misunderstood and blasting your stereo in your dark room while ignoring your stupid math homework, and when you're all "and if you're somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor" you become aware that your kid is talking to you and you finish the next line and decrease the volume a little and go "What, hon?" and she repeats politely, "Mommy, I don't like this song very much. You can play it on the radio if you want, but can you please turn it down? And only that guy sings it instead of you also?"

Wanna know what you're playin for?

OK, goddammit, Internets, this is getting serious.

This total utter bizarro-world, would-be-funny-except-it's-fucking-real birth-control-coverage "debate." And "debate" is in quotation marks because goddamn, a debate is supposed to have two sides. This is just a whole bunch of nutbags shouting about sluts and whores, whipping themselves into ever-tighter circles of spittle-flecked frenzy, making less and less sense but revealing with each word that the issue at the heart of all of this is the desire to control women.

And on that note, I reject the argument from "my" side that "people use birth control for things besides prevention of unwanted pregnancy, and that's why it should be covered." Because yes, obviously that's true, but the point -- the FUCKING POINT -- is that IT'S NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS WHY ANY PERSON EXCEPT YOURSELF SEEKS, FILLS AND/OR USES ANY PRESCRIPTION EVER. And if we allow people like this Gestapo bitchwheel to introduce the idea of having to explain yourself to anyone but your doctor, then there is no end to what she and every other bugeyed cholesterol clot shartstain will try to do. These walking advertisements for abortion will never stop.

The Repuglicans are apparently going to fight and die on this hill, which in one regard is fine by me; every time some fathead with a schlong or some cunty cunt-regulator gets in the ring with warthog diarrhea like this Arizona bill, more votes are going to disappear come election time. Maybe the base won't vote Obama ... but they're not gonna vote Santorum/Romney/Misogynist To Be Named Later either.

The problem, though, is that this is still a Thing, and it's going to continue to be, and a lot of people are going to be hurt, not to mention that the line has now been crossed -- they know that they get to talk like this. They get to propose these awful, awful, misogynistic laws and watch us try to bat them down. They're playing a high-stakes Whack-A-Mole game that just keeps speeding up and we have no choice but to try to swing the mallet faster -- no time even to go around the back and unplug the fucker so we can hear ourselves think. GodDAMMIT.

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT

Holy crap, Internets, I got a basketload of goodies for y'all today.

--STFU Conservatives: Where I spend most of my time online. A Tumblr of wonderfulness that will also enrage in a head-explodey way. Good for keeping fired up in this election season, and I adore Jess & Joe, the proprietors (whom I've never met or even corresponded with, just to clarify; they're just really kewl).

--Fuck Rick Santorum: A Canadian gets in on the game, and hilarity ensues.

--I Hope Rick Santorum: ... encounters a whole bunch of shitty little first-world problems, pretty much every minute of his day every day of his life. AWESOME.

--Dr. Jen Gunter: Wielding the lasso of truth -- it's her tagline and the actuality of the blog. Thoughtful, intelligent, extremely interesting posts on the issues of the day by a doctor and single mom.

--Bracketology: Greatest Wire Characters. You come at the king, you best not miss.