Monday, August 22, 2011

He doesn’t care anything about the Confederacy and he says we’re going to get licked. But he dances divinely.

The Monday Three, Two of Which Are Brought To You By Acquaintaces' Facebook Posts

A pox on those pre-selected packages of school supplies.
I get the convenience from the parental point of view -- one stop, one price, no fuss. But pretty much the only thing I ever really liked about going back to school was the trip to buy school supplies -- lingering over the pencil boxes, choosing exactly the right colors of two-pocket brad folders for each subject, digging to the back of the pile for the completely unblemished, untouched notebooks, adding a fresh new bottle of Elmer's glue, the perfect scissors, clean sharp-tipped Crayolas, pens, Kleenex boxes ... how could you rob a kid of that?

Double smallpox on people who decry their kids' growing up.
Not "Awww, time flies! Remember when he was a little pudgy mooshy baby? And here he is, old enough to give lawful consent in New Mexico!" I mean the ones who go "I demand she stop growing up!" or "First day of fourth grade -- oh how I want her back in kindergarten!" Stop it. Just stop that fucking shit. I don't care if you think it, but keep it inside your thick noggin. It's NOT FAIR to make kids feel bad for the inevitable biological process of growing up. You're saying, in effect, "I liked you better when you were little and cute and I controlled your life and had your unalloyed hero worship. It sucks now that you're all gangly and need deodorant and have a sass mouth and I would stunt you forever if I could. Your existence disappoints me and it's all your fault."

In which something makes me anxious, which has no damn business engendering any emotion in me whatsoever.
You know how Vince and the permanently developmentally-arrested bro posse are all living in some insanely luxurious, spacious, apparently multi-bedroom high-floor hotel suite now? Not staying there -- LIVING there, for an indefinite amount of time? Those places are like $30,000 a night. Those Emirate assholes don't even live like that. Wasn't Vince having money problems not too long ago? Who's footing this bill? Why don't they rent a goddamn house like on Cribs? All this wasted money ... why Shatner why?

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Anonymous Blabbermouse said...

Our kids aren't allowed to pick their own supplies. Teachers were requesting SPECIFIC scissors. SPECIFIC brand of pencils. SPECIFIC color folder. It was insane. So I bought the kit. And then they took most of the shit out of it when Patrick didn't get into school and handed me my $50 box of glue sticks and markers. Sigh. Can't win, can't win.

2:14 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Ugh! It was YOU who was robbed.

Two times, apparently -- once of pleasure, and once of material goods. Booooo!

4:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad I wasn't the only kid "digging to the back of the pile for the completely unblemished, untouched notebooks" each year.

8:47 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

I wanted the kind where the pages were still stuck together a little from where they were cut, dammit! No wrinkles, no dog ears, PERFECT SPIRALS.

We do understand each other, Marcus.

9:43 AM  
Blogger Guinness74 said...

I never really got excited about school supplies. Protractors, red/blue pencils, just didn't excite me. But, as my wife has an office supply fetish, I'm certain that she enjoyed it.

What I really came to say is how much I enjoy IvyCat getting older. Sure, I loved cute things she did when she was little, but now she has vocabulary and she's less needy (although, still, just enough needy) I don't want to go backwards. That's why I'm not sure I want a second one, I didn't much care for the younger days.

And...who is Vince? I'm so old and out of touch.

6:07 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

You know, Guinness, I have enjoyed every stage with Kid Gleemonex -- the early toddler phase was the most challenging in retrospect, but there was much fun to be had -- though I have to say that the older she gets, the more enjoyable she is in general, so I definitely understand where you're coming from! The decision was largely based on our feeling that she should have a sibling, and that was something that only really felt right to us after she turned three -- a mystery, like so much of parenthood! The advantage this time around is, we know what an ass-kicking is in store for us in the early going, but we also know that there are big payoffs just a couple of years down the road. :-)

Vince is Vincent Chase, on Entourage -- total mental vacation from reality, courtesy of HBO. One of those shows I just don't even know how to quit. Heh.

10:30 AM  
Blogger alison said...

I am guilty of telling Leah to stop growing, which isn't the same thing as telling her to stop growing *up*. I just can't afford the new pair of jeans every two weeks. The kid is 3/4 legs and grows a couple centimetres a day, seems like.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Heh -- Alison, you are well within your rights on that one! :-)

10:04 AM  

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