That John Denver's fulla shit!

Possible Originations of the Source of the Ringing of the iPhone at 3:40 a.m. Sunday

--Robocall/spam

--butt-dial

--insomniac or new parent on the East Coast

--the Better Homes and Gardens $25,000 prize winner notification

--my Kansass friends, wanting to settle a bar bet

--someone on vacation in Hawaii, having miscalculated the time difference, wanting to know the name of that awesome fish place because they want to go there tomorrow

--solar flare

--poltergeist

--Steve Jobs, checking things out (he's a detail guy)

Where My Mind Went, With an Intractable Force that Compelled Me to Get Out of Bed to Go Downstairs to Check the Fucking Thing Because I Can't Sleep Until I Do

--My sister, calling with bad tidings of yet another family illness or death

What It Actually Was
--Your flight to Bumblefuck was cancelled. Here's when the next one is: Two days from now. Go fuck yourself.