Monday, May 16, 2011

Honey badger don't care.

So I'm in Whole Foods the other day, facing this vast wall of yogurt options. I'm starting to realize that yogurt, which I have discussed here previously, is in the same family of Stuff Rich White Liberals Like as yoga -- time-consuming, expensive, somewhat pointless, requiring special equipment or specialized stores, that kind of thing. But I can eat them on the train when I miss First Breakfast at home due to I have to get up pretty goddamn early to make the train, which waits for no man. And Whole Foods has the biggest selection I've ever seen, with barely a Dannon or a Yoplait anywhere. It's all this crazy shit with total BS benefits ascribed thereunto, but I need some variety because YOGURT, UGH. Anyway so I'm standing in front of it, my kid going nuts with desire to hit another samples table, I'm scanning labels and suffering choice paralysis.

I see one that looks interesting -- calm white label, nice illustrations of fruit, "Icelandic-style" something or other. No hormones, preservatives, additives. Non-fat, 100 calories, trace amount of sugar, no aspartame, MSG, Red #5, motor oil, what have you. It's two dollars per, but hey, cheap if it's your whole meal, and it can be, because hot damn, FOURTEEN grams of protein. I get a couple: Grapefruit, Orange-Ginger.

Days later, starving on the train, I bust out the Orange-Ginger. I'm instantly sorry, with the first spoonful. It tastes like ... a cleaning product. Iceland, you're on notice.

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Blogger Amblus said...

Oh my God, I feel for that one too! You forgot to mention that, in addition to tasting like a cleaning product, it's also gritty.

11:15 AM  
Blogger Amblus said...

Fell. Fell for.

11:15 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

And ... and thick. Very thick. Groutlike.

11:26 AM  
Blogger Guinness74 said...

I love that their website says "rather delicious," like they could've done better, but the home ec teacher said time was up and this was what was left in the mixer.

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Darlene said...

I have a love-hate thing going on with yogurt. Find one that tastes good and its nutritionally equivalent to a Twinkie. But find one that's non-toxic and it tastes like regurgitated ick.

7:39 AM  
Blogger Panda!!!! said...

OOH! Good to know. I almost fell for that.

BTW, I have a new blog: my first name, my last name .net

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Tony Rizzuto said...

Gleem! Funny, I just posted about Siggi's this week. It is an aquired taste - the first time I tried it I gagged. But I've come to love it. Don't give up! - Tony

10:57 AM  

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