Our girlfriends are most chaste.
In honor of Women's History Month, a brief selection of:
Harassments To Which I Have Been Subjected
--That one coach/"teacher" of science in seventh grade, who assigned seating at the lab tables (which had those tall chairs), and put all the girls up front, basically so he could look up our skirts when he "dropped the chalk."
--This carny who, when I won a roach clip (...WTF?) at some stupid carny game at the Reunion the summer I was eleven, took my prize and pinched it to my shirt right between my 11-year-old boobs.
--Some asshole who tried to take an upskirt photo of me on the BART escalator about 5 years ago.
--A NYC taxi driver -- not a native speaker of English -- who spent the entire ride talking about pretty filthy sex stuff as he drove me on the errand my internship sent me on, junior year of college.
--An elderly, extremely nattily-dressed gentleman in the Willie Brown mold, who upon goggling at my St. Patrick's Day green plaid miniskirt as I crossed Civic Center Plaza on the way to work in 2000, stopped, leaned on his cane, made a curving/hourglass motion with his free hand and said, "Unnh-UHHH! Well-MADE!"
--A homeless guy who, just a few weeks ago, turned as I was passing him on the sidewalk and said directly into my face with forceful but flat animosity, "Hey BITCH."
--These two boys, who must have been about thirteen, who spent most of a day at the public pool trying to grab my friend C. and I in the crotch (we were eight).
Harassments To Which I Have Been Subjected
--That one coach/"teacher" of science in seventh grade, who assigned seating at the lab tables (which had those tall chairs), and put all the girls up front, basically so he could look up our skirts when he "dropped the chalk."
--This carny who, when I won a roach clip (...WTF?) at some stupid carny game at the Reunion the summer I was eleven, took my prize and pinched it to my shirt right between my 11-year-old boobs.
--Some asshole who tried to take an upskirt photo of me on the BART escalator about 5 years ago.
--A NYC taxi driver -- not a native speaker of English -- who spent the entire ride talking about pretty filthy sex stuff as he drove me on the errand my internship sent me on, junior year of college.
--An elderly, extremely nattily-dressed gentleman in the Willie Brown mold, who upon goggling at my St. Patrick's Day green plaid miniskirt as I crossed Civic Center Plaza on the way to work in 2000, stopped, leaned on his cane, made a curving/hourglass motion with his free hand and said, "Unnh-UHHH! Well-MADE!"
--A homeless guy who, just a few weeks ago, turned as I was passing him on the sidewalk and said directly into my face with forceful but flat animosity, "Hey BITCH."
--These two boys, who must have been about thirteen, who spent most of a day at the public pool trying to grab my friend C. and I in the crotch (we were eight).
Labels: balls in YOUR mouth sir, cryin' amazacrazy, first-world problems, life 101, sickened repugnance, surprises in the attic, The more you know
posted by Gleemonex at 8:17 AM
2 Comments:
My 9th grade biology teacher once told me to "just sit there and look pretty" in response to some question I asked. And I was one of the smart ones! But he was also an alcoholic, so I guess we all gave him some space to make mistakes. I don't think he wanted to be there any more than we did.
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