Monday, February 14, 2011

I don't know, Glen. DOES the pope wear a funny hat?

You know what just fucking wears me out? People who are described as "never sitting still."

It's always meant to show how they're being such go-getters, such deep drinkers from the fountain of life, but to me, that's just frantic and nervous and annoying.

I'm reading one of my dumb fitness magazines -- Shape, maybe? and there's this actress gal they've photographed participating in some hot new fitness trend,and they're like "It was hard to get her to sit still for the session! She's always on the go!"

Ugh, kill me. Somebody like that is always wanting to start up a game, or go see some attraction, or whatever, when really, many of life's greatest pleasures are to be had from a seated or reclined position [ten-minute pause for Beavis/Butt-Head laughter].

Seriously -- whenever I imagine fantasy vacation destinations, it's always in context of sitting around admiring the view from my beach cabana, drink in hand. Or wandering very slowly down windswept side streets, stopping in a cafe for hours. Or staring out the windows of the TGV as an entire country flies by on the way to somewhere I'm going to spend a week without going much of anywhere in particular. Holidays -- I like a board game, or some foosball, but if you're trying to get me into a "fun" little game of flag football I will cut you. Get over here and have another glass of wine, Jack, and knock off pretending we're gonna burn off the 4,000 calories we just consumed by getting lightly sweaty in our nice clothes. At any rate, almost any time ever, all I want to do is sit around and read, which is sort of incompatible with the go-go lifestyle.

To me, the point is slowing down, savoring the moment, being still so you can think about stuff.

Or, conversely, maybe I am just a lazy drunk!

Your call.

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Blogger Amblus said...

Mind you don't cut yourself, Mordecai.

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Blabbermouse said...

I love this post. You need to set your settings so I can subscribe to the feed and see the permalink and send it to everyone I know.

10:10 AM  
Blogger francine said...

you're right on. my idea of a perfect day or vacation includes mostly napping or sitting and staring at something with a drink in hand. and the nap can come before or after the drink. but either way, i'm happiest when i'm just laying around. you know who likes to be busy? actresses with a lot of money who have too much downtime and don't appreciate the feeling of finally getting your butt sunk into a couch.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Uncle Spike said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:20 PM  
Blogger Uncle Spike said...

Careful...shameless (if actually pretty on-topic) self-promotion ahead.

9:21 PM  

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