Monday, February 28, 2011

Meanwhile, Billy Crystal, Shatner love 'im, gets a little more womanly-looking with every passing year.

Two questions about last night:

1) Can we employ someone to teach the ladies how not to walk like lumberjacks in their lovely gowns, and also what to do with their arms & hands? Mila Kunis looked like she forgot where her pockets were and was trying to find them all night, Anne Hathaway kept slumping and standing with all her weight on one leg all lopsided, everybody was just stomping around in too-tall heels -- a little grace, ladies, please!

2) Who was drunker -- Bening & Beatty, or ScarJo? Actually, I think ScarJo was out of her mind on like six different pillz (uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, et al.). Maybe she was also drunk, but that glassiness looked pharmaceutical. Bening/Beatty, FTW!

And a couple of random thoughts:
That guy who won for short feature: of COURSE it was an NYU stoodent project. OF COURSE IT WAS. The chick from Winter's Bone: Zaxed out. Like three or four more Xanaxes than the recommended dose. Sandra Bullock: You gotta start letting someone else do your hair. It's possible Halle Berry is the Living Satan, because how else do you look 23 still, and from whence else could that glow be coming? Cate Blanchett's dress looked like she had a lizard riding piggyback, but it was AWESOME when the Wolfman clip finished, and she commented mildly, "Gross." before going on with her presenter's duties. The Auto-Tune bit made me laugh stupidly. Alec Baldwin might actually be a god [note to self: look into this; if true, set up tax-free church in His name].

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Anonymous Maggie said...

Delurking to say I would worship at the church of Alec Baldwin. Please let me know if you set one up.

10:35 AM  
Blogger francine said...

HAHA billy crystal. poor thing. his face also looks more and more like a pancake with hair. also too bad dead holographic bob hope was the funniest host of the night.

11:53 AM  

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