Monday, June 27, 2011

I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

And but so here's another thing: Do you ever wonder whether somewhere in all that Duggary Duggarness, there's a Duggar kid who's like, "This fucking SUCKS. I hate sharing a bathroom with forty fuckin other kids, I don't even know if that one over there is ours or not, my mom is just a vagina with a face, I called Jinger 'Jorgia' and she didn't even notice, if I hear one more Biblical math lesson or Biblical history lesson or Biblical fucking chemistry lesson I'm going to burn this house down with everybody in it, my dad is a goddamn lunatic trying to replenish the earth all by himself, I only ever just saw a black person in real life LAST WEEK, there's no way I'm marrying that freaky twerp from that other Christing overpopulating homeschool family we hang with, and I'm sick to fucking death of that beshitted taco pie thing we eat by the 55-gallon drum every fucking Wednesday. The very MINUTE I turn eighteen I am changing my name to Terry Smith, getting my entire reproductive system removed, and FLEEING TO BOLIVIA and they will never ever find me. They won't even know I'm gone till it's time to do the publicity shoot for the next time they have to change the name of our show on Discovery -- 'Thirty-Nine and Counting!' Feets don't fail me now."

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Megan said...

Oh lord, I have been thinking the same thing for years. I wonder how long it would even take the parents to notice one was missing. (Love your blog--longtime reader, but I rarely comment)

5:58 AM  
OpenID marcuschung said...

I'm sure none has ever thought that because they have not been home-schooled about Bolivia.

4:20 PM  
Blogger SAVanVleck said...

Just great. Hilarious!!!

7:18 PM  

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