Stuck in my craw. (As it were. Heh.)
Look out – Sandy-Vadged Old Lady ramblings ahoy!
1) Listen up, young people: When you are at table with me, put the GOD DAMN PHONE IN YOUR GOD DAMN BAG. My colleague and I were lunching with the new intern yesterday, and the girl kept her phone on the table the whole time, texting while talking, flipping through screens, the whole nine. I was like, why are we even here? This is supposed to be a business lunch, and she might as well have been at her little four-roommate pansexual-house-party/reality-show apartment or wherever it is you kids live these days. I mean, the girl is great, very accomplished and presentable and does good work, but holy app-downloading SHATNER is that rude.
2) My friend, the lovely and truthful J., told a story recently about a very large meeting at the Very Large Global Bank where she works, a meeting which has come to be known around the company as “The Basic Instinct Meeting.” What happened was: A senior-level woman in her late 30s/early 40s (i.e. old enough to know better) was one of the people seated on a dais on chairs that were hidden by no podium or table. The woman was wearing a skirt. There was a Basic Instinct moment. My question is: WHO DOESN’T WEAR UNDERPANTS TO WORK? WHO? WHO DOES THAT? I need to have confidence that the people with whom I work are WEARING UNDERPANTS. I don’t ever want to think about it – I just want it done. UNDERPANTS.
1) Listen up, young people: When you are at table with me, put the GOD DAMN PHONE IN YOUR GOD DAMN BAG. My colleague and I were lunching with the new intern yesterday, and the girl kept her phone on the table the whole time, texting while talking, flipping through screens, the whole nine. I was like, why are we even here? This is supposed to be a business lunch, and she might as well have been at her little four-roommate pansexual-house-party/reality-show apartment or wherever it is you kids live these days. I mean, the girl is great, very accomplished and presentable and does good work, but holy app-downloading SHATNER is that rude.
2) My friend, the lovely and truthful J., told a story recently about a very large meeting at the Very Large Global Bank where she works, a meeting which has come to be known around the company as “The Basic Instinct Meeting.” What happened was: A senior-level woman in her late 30s/early 40s (i.e. old enough to know better) was one of the people seated on a dais on chairs that were hidden by no podium or table. The woman was wearing a skirt. There was a Basic Instinct moment. My question is: WHO DOESN’T WEAR UNDERPANTS TO WORK? WHO? WHO DOES THAT? I need to have confidence that the people with whom I work are WEARING UNDERPANTS. I don’t ever want to think about it – I just want it done. UNDERPANTS.
Labels: balls in YOUR mouth sir, first-world problems, PMFSA, shit that has got to stop, teabaggin, the horror ... the horror, things that are bad for the world, way too old for this kind of shit anymore
posted by Gleemonex at 2:52 PM
4 Comments:
And if you're not wearing underpants, why on god's green earth would you not keep your knees together?!?!
I attended a wedding, once, where the musicians were on a raised dais. The French Horn player was not wearing underpants, either.
It's more comfortable. Or it's laundry day. I gotta admit, the last time I had on anything remotely like a skirt, I was a sophomore in high school...but I wore underpants.
Still, there may have been reasons. Maybe she couldn't find them when she got up for her "walk of shame" that morning.
Re: the intern. Please pull her aside and kindly let her know that her behavior is just. plain. disrespectful.
Hopefully, she'll appreciate this lesson later in life. Or at least her parents will.
WHEN THE HELL DID I START SYMPATHIZING WITH PARENTS???
I am an old man.
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