Of course what I actually said was, "Sure. Will do."
Replies Considered And Rejected In Response to An Email From My Manager Just Now, Wondering Whether I Can "Just Go Ahead And Put Together These Packets" For Tomorrow's 3-Hour Meeting, Given The "weight of this project in terms of its scale and importance," Because The 26-Year-Old Blue-Flame Meeting/Project Lead Doesn't Need To Be "Overly Burdened" By Doing It Himself
--Oh yes, absolutely, my calendar's completely open except for that massive deliverable you already laid on me today that I have to finish before I leave.
--Yeah, no problem -- I actually went to grad school for the specific purpose of adding grim irony to performing such tasks as printing and photocopying 40-page "packets."
--For sure -- happy to free up some time for Blue Flame. He's so terribly busy outranking me by two job levels while Facebooking, harassing people via transatlantic phone call and chatting up the new gal, I'd hate to burden the poor dear.
--So am I to assume you actually realize the "weight of this project in terms of its scale and importance," then? Huh. That's funny. I recall the entire area with which this big meeting is concerned being left off my 2010 goals until I myself pointed it out. But sure, I'm on it. Top priority.
--Actually, this is beyond the scope of my core competencies at this time, but if you'd like to loop back with me on it later, we can schedule some time on our calendars for a touch-base with our Sr. Manager and HR to discuss the matter in depth and create an action plan so that I can get up to speed and really own this piece.
--Or, how about this: Blue Flame can fucking do it himself since it's his idea and he'll get credit for it anyway?
--Why don't you get your mom to do it? I hear she likes that sort of thing.
--Oh yes, absolutely, my calendar's completely open except for that massive deliverable you already laid on me today that I have to finish before I leave.
--Yeah, no problem -- I actually went to grad school for the specific purpose of adding grim irony to performing such tasks as printing and photocopying 40-page "packets."
--For sure -- happy to free up some time for Blue Flame. He's so terribly busy outranking me by two job levels while Facebooking, harassing people via transatlantic phone call and chatting up the new gal, I'd hate to burden the poor dear.
--So am I to assume you actually realize the "weight of this project in terms of its scale and importance," then? Huh. That's funny. I recall the entire area with which this big meeting is concerned being left off my 2010 goals until I myself pointed it out. But sure, I'm on it. Top priority.
--Actually, this is beyond the scope of my core competencies at this time, but if you'd like to loop back with me on it later, we can schedule some time on our calendars for a touch-base with our Sr. Manager and HR to discuss the matter in depth and create an action plan so that I can get up to speed and really own this piece.
--Or, how about this: Blue Flame can fucking do it himself since it's his idea and he'll get credit for it anyway?
--Why don't you get your mom to do it? I hear she likes that sort of thing.
Labels: balls in YOUR mouth sir, cubejammin', first-world problems, I really am sort of an asshole sometimes, pigeon/statue, that's what your mom said, way too old for this kind of shit anymore
posted by Gleemonex at 9:19 AM
4 Comments:
I vote for the last one, which should come as no great surprise.
(What does "Blue Flame" mean? Have I been out of the country for too long?)
I bet you did. YOUR mom likes that sort of thing. Heh.
A blue flamer is just a person who's so gung-ho about a job or whatever that it's like they got a blue flame lit under their ass -- I got it from reading a John Douglas book (he was talking about noob FBI agents). I find these people deeeeeeply irritating, which I bet is really unsurprising.
This post fills me with rage on your behalf, so I can only imagine how you must feel.
Here's hoping that Blue Flame & your manager are two of the first up against the wall when the revolution comes.
I imagine these thoughts ran through my colleague's head yesterday when she (a manager) was pulled out of a meeting by our VP to fetch him lunch. Since he was too busy and his admin was already on her lunch break.
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