Friday, February 26, 2010

College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap.

Internets: Hey, Gleemonex! Keepin it real, I see -- how're them potato chips for breakfast?

Gleemonex: Pretty good, actually. Shut up. How you doin?

Internets: Awesome as always, what else, DUHHHH.

Gleemonex: Mkay ... so what brings you here?

Internets: Heh. You.

Gleemonex: Me?

Internets: Yeah, I totally saw what you did there, and it made me laugh more than it really deserved.

Gleemonex: Huh?

Internets: In the Olde Hometowne newspaper -- the Bugle-Noisemaker?

Gleemonex: Oh, thaaat. Heh. Yeah. I kill me. It's just that this half-smart numbnuts was going on and on about stuff --

Internets: I know! He's all "led by the most dangerous man to our freedoms that ever occupied the White House" this, and "slip it under the table and backdoor it in" that --

Gleemonex: And besides laughing at the mixed and unintentionally suggestive metaphors, I had to respond.

Internets: You always do, don't you?

Gleemonex: Hell yes. Compulsive sassmouth here. But it was so stupid, what he was saying, that I couldn't do like a point-by-point critique, so I focused in on one of his stupider rote little sayings --

Internets: "'Drunk sailors on shore leave', eh? Why must you insult our troops?" Ha!!!

Gleemonex: Thanks, man. Just doin my part.

Internets: Much appreciated.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was going ape-shoot crazy trying to figure out WHO had made the comparison. Then I see it in the 3rd paragraph, where he makes the assertion.

This man is a clear and present danger to punctuation everywhere.

12:48 AM  
Blogger Panda!!!! said...

Did they finally publish one of your responses???

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Megan said...

So, I couldn't help but want to answer your query about the Olympic Village sexual shenanigans that go on.....from Canada's National Post newspaper. (I know its a bit late, but better late than never, eh?)

5:54 PM  

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