The shoulder-padded silk shirts from Express fared rather less well.

Surprising Longevity: A Few Things From 1991-1992 That Are Still In Frequent Use Today

--The alarm clock given to me by Jennifer M.’s parents as a graduation gift. A 5x5” cube, it has stood vigil at my bedside, coast to coast, for 17 ½ years without a single failure.

--The keychain given to me as a grad gift by Diane R.’s parents. It’s a 1926 dollar coin. It’s in my coat pocket right now, holdin up my keys.

--The Texas Instruments pocket calculator I was directed to purchase by Mrs. E for Trig/Pre-Calc. We all pretty much had the same one. It had something to do with, like, sines and functions and “ass-ma-totes.” It is good for balancing my checkbook still. That other stuff, I couldn’t do anymore if it were the only thing standing between us and Global Thermonuclear War.

--The beach towel given to me by the hostesses of a graduation party in my honor. It is purple on one side, green on the other, and the design is a large shield bearing the words “Beverly Hills Beach Club.” Now, it’s true I watched a lot of what my young friend Sarah A. calls “the NINE-oh,” but I doubt these nice ladies knew that, and also, WTF? Nice towel, though. So I’m always prepared; as Towelie says, “Don’t forget to bring a towel.”