Monday, August 03, 2009

He's kinda tall, sorta. He has ... hair. And he wears T-shirts sometimes.

Internets: Hey, Gleemonex. Long time no blog, eh? Whatcha thinkin today?

Gleemonex: What up, Internets! Been working like a bastard, but in between times, I've been hitting refresh on a Letter to the Editor in Ye Olde Hometowne Newspaper--

Internets: Stirring the shit again, eh?

Gleemonex: Naturally. You know me too well.

Internets: What's your beef this time?

Gleemonex: Some retard wrote in to say the paper "decided to let the words of this black lady columnist, Mrs. Edelman, take up space concerning healthcare for children" --

Internets: Wait, that's a direct quote?

Gleemonex: Oh yeah.

Internets: Wha--

Gleemonex: I know. And so but anyway, this person "couldn't help but comment"--

Internets: They never can.

Gleemonex: Ain't that the truth. So our pal Chucky the Study Buddy opines that "they" want "a chicken in every pot, even if you didn't work to get it"--

Internets: Oh, come ON!

Gleemonex: Please. May I? ANYway. And besides, our healthcare system isn't perfect, he allows generously, but: "Is it better than anybody else in the world's socialized healthcare liberals and weinie-washer leftwingers want us to adopt in our nation? Undeniably."

Internets: Un. de. NI! ably.

Gleemonex: Hee. I know. And as a liberal, I definitely "want to continually find ways to rape [Lee Greenwood's Genius Cousin] with more taxation without representation."

Internets: Oh, but of course -- EVERYBODY knows that.

Gleemonex: And he closes with this shazammy-shazinger: "Healthcare is a privilege, not your right."

Internets: ...

Gleemonex: I just blew your mind, didn't I?

Internets: FATAL ERROR. CLOSE ALL WINDOWS AND REBOOT.

Gleemonex: Exactly. So I replied, basically saying "Pull your head out of your ass," but in more words and specifically without the words ass or total fucking retard involved --

Internets: Mighty polite of you.

Gleemonex: I thought so.

Internets: But they're still never going to allow your comment through, are they?

Gleemonex: Nope.

Internets: [sigh] Sorry about that. Some people, you know?

Gleemonex: True dat. But at least, even in your darkest moments, you give me something to love -- for example, you're there when Prince Philip gets off a good one.

Internets: One of my faves! Say thanks to Alison for me, wouldja?

Gleemonex: That I will.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Torrey said...

Yeah, but he's Preston. PRESTOOOONNNEEE.

ps. You're hilarious.

12:13 PM  
OpenID slugger said...

I love it when you talk to yourself...I mean, us. It cracks me up. Does "Ye Olde Hometowne" not have an alternative news source that would print enlightened material, or am I just spitting into the wind there?

Anyway, can I be friends with Alison? I just ventured over to her blog and obviously she's a Star Wars fan and I may/may not have a crush on Daniel Craig too...so I think we would really hit it off.

4:26 PM  
Blogger francine said...

WEINIE WASHER!

5:23 AM  
Blogger alison said...

You're welcome, Internets.

Alison

Oh, and I'd dearly love to see even the fucking-retard-free version of your letter to the editor. Truly I would.

P.S. Slugger, for sure, we can hang out.

10:16 AM  

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