Three Things That Are Great

I didn’t forget you, dear Internets, I just got lost for a piece. For you, three things that don’t make a post on their own but together form a family:

Best Fourth of July Ever
This year I plan to eat lots of marinated meat foods, drank 'till I'm drunk, possible say something regrettable (more possible than not), stumble into a tumbleweed or two, lay on my back on the ground and yell at no one in particular and maybe, just maybe blow off a finger or two with an illegal firework purchased at the Indian reservation.

Best Movie Review Ever
Could you sum up the film in one line of its dialogue?
"I am standing directly beneath the enemy's scrotum."

Best Political What The Fucking Fuck of the Last Week
Palin. Flame-throwing pig-roasting mai-tai-drinking SHATNER, y’all – this is even funnier than that hypocritical asshole who had to go to Argentina to get some strange, and THAT was a fuckin stone cold laff riot! Godamighty I love this nutty bitch. Girl CRAZY.