Thursday, July 03, 2008

We like the boom

Watch out
You might get what you’re after
Cool babies
Strange but not a stranger
I’m an ordinary guy
Burning down the house

--Patrick Stradley
[that’s for HHL – respek knuckles/terrorist fist jab to Talking Heads, yo!]

Watching the Yanks in Pittsburgh last week, Mr. Gleemonex and I about passed out from fireworkxx envy – they were constantly running commercials for these paradisiacal supermarkets full of Serious Ordnance for use in celebrating the Glorious Fourth. Holy fireballing Shatner, y’all – I am such a pyro, it was torture to look at such abundance and not be able to have any of it. We’re stuck with safe ‘n lame workxx here (nothing that flies, explodes in the sky, makes a teeth-rattling KABLAM – just little cone fountains, those spinny UFO thingies that make black marks on your driveway, the hated snakes, etc. – stuff you’d let your 18-month-old play with, back where I’m from) and we’re lucky to get those – ours is the only town within 100 miles that even allows so much as a frickin sparkler. Something about fires, burnination, yada yada yada loss of life & property, blah blah blah. Fuckin killjoys.

So, you lucky bastards who get to fire up some REAL fireworkxx – please, for me, enjoy yourselves this weekend. Light fuse and get away!

PS: right here, y’all, is a collection of the stupidest lyrics in the history of ever: Def Leppard’s Pyromania. Oh, if I could only get back some of the energy I expended on this ridiculous band and their ridiculous ripped jeans, back in the day …

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2 Comments:

Blogger Tony said...

Omg, Gleemo,

I too am worxxx obsessed. Just as Ros about the days as kids where all we'd do is blow shit up. Or buy stuff illegally. Or peruse many a worxx catalog. I think I memorized every item Blue Angel (now Phantom) sold. You should torture yourself and look a their online catalogs.

I think I told you, a year or so back I was on a family vaca in North Carolina and my brother and I purposely flew into Tennessee just to go to one of those worxxx supermarkets. We were literally kids in a candy store and dropped around $300. It was glorious!!!!!!!!!!!!

T

7:43 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Oh Tunoi! TOTAL JEALOUSY!

I have been thinking that as soon as Kid Gleemonex gets old enough to appreciate it, we should plan a 4th of July vacay to one of those places (where we'd otherwise never dream of going). I'm really not kidding. We might do it. You could rent the house next to ours and we'll go halfsies on the workxx ...

4:38 PM  

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