Sunday, June 29, 2008

Also Maine, and the future

Some fears I harbor, which I lay squarely at the feet of Stephen King: 

--Small towns, especially idyllic ones. The more perfect the place, the more certain I am that I'm going to be devoured by needle-toothed frogs, or abducted into the audience for a neverending concert by dead rock stars, or menaced by an antique truck or something. Bad scene all around.
--Clowns. Maybe they're just vaguely creepy and totally depressing and unfunny, but maybe they're interdimensional beings that will become your worst fear and eat you alive. 
--Random doom of the right place/wrong time scenario. Thanks to Steve-o, you never know -- you might've just boarded a plane that never left yesterday and is going to be destroyed at the molecular level while you wait, or chosen a lunch spot with a waiter who's been going crazy for awhile and happens to be about to machete some people to death today, or gotten a big old snootful of a deadly virus that's gonna kill you and 99 percent of the rest of humanity.
--Nevada. If it ain't the Devil, it's a psycho cop or some sort of ancient motherfuckin curse or other. Either way, you're gonna get torn limb from limb at the very least.
--Very bad things happening to the Achilles tendon while you stand by your bed. A nice specificity within the general "something under the bed" fear, don't you think? 
--Cornfields. I think that's all I need to say. 

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Anonymous Traceace said...

Did you say needle tooth frogs? Holy shit do those really exist? I am highly terrified of the regular bloated green ones. I see why people develope agoraphobia! You know you forgot to add fog! everything is clear blue sunny then the fog rolls in and boom! death becomes you. Just sayin', put on the low beams and watch out, fog sneaks under the door and it doesn't matter if your agoraphobia has you locked inside the hall closet, yur a gonner.

8:08 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

There are BUGS, giant murderous BUGS in the FOG!


Yeah, um, the frogs. There's this story called "Rainy Season" that you might not want to read, TraceAce ... if you're already scared of frogs, this story is not for you.

9:16 AM  
Anonymous traceace said...

yeah that damn Tom Cruise movie where it rained frogs... I had to leave the room and freak the f#*k out. but mosty because of Tom.

9:14 PM  
Blogger Spanish Johnny said...

I once saw a clown in a cornfield in a small, idyllic town in Nevada. I believe he was entertaining at a kid's birthday party, but I damn sure wasn't going to stick around to find out.

12:06 PM  

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