Monday, June 09, 2008

Moses supposes his toeses are roses

Not the timeliest post (that would've been around when he died, natch), but have I ever told you guys how deeply, thoroughly hilarious I find Charlton Heston? Oh MAN, does he kill me!

Soylent Green is peeeeepullllllllll! Those damn dirty apes! They can have my guns when they pry them from my cold, dead hands!

Comedy gold, people.

So we Netflixed Omega Man recently (having seen the pretty-good I Am Legend, we decided to see the other movie based on the good idea/poorly-executed novella I Am Legend -- although, quick digression: Why do zombies and/or other vampiric/flesh-eating undead develop superspeed and superstrength in movies? They're fucking DEAD(ish), so how come they get stronger? Only the seriously funny Shaun of the Dead got that part right, the part about zombies being -- you know, zombies, like slow and stupid but relentless).

And but so Omega Man -- here's ol' Charlston, already a little past his prime but still workin it pretty good. He's the last non-undead guy in the world, as far as he knows, so he spends his time flyin through the streets in hott cars, talkin to himself and whatnot. I don't think it's a spoiler to tell you that there's some real weird stuff in there about this "Family" of, um, like afflicted people who only come out at night, and some time-capsule-y 1971 bizarrity in which our boy Chuckles bags a sassy black chick (and don't you know HE'S the best she ever had! aww yeah).

But he's been alone for like three years, and before he meets any non-undeads, he has this thing where he thinks the phone's ringin. He's just crashed his car through the window of a dealership, preparatory to selecting another one, and suddenly it seems like every pay phone on every corner in Los Angeles is just rrrrringin its balls off, and Chuck's staggering around clutching his head, hollering at himself that it isn't real, it isn't happening, aaauuugggh! -- and y'all, I laughed for like ten solid minutes. Good times, good times.

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Blogger bgirl said...

So, not two days ago, I was all "Hey Mom, we finally saw I Am Legend last weekend." And she was all "Was it better than Omega Man?" And I was all "Who to the what, now?"

My "vintage" movie-viewing record is less than stellar.

But I do like the dirty apes.

6:56 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Don't we all? :-)

And IMO, yes, it is better than Omega Man -- the seventies ... you know, I don't know what was going on in all their heads at the time, but there is some weird unnecessary shit in so many classic 70s movies, plus the film stock sucked so the colors -- a crappy green and brown and orange palette to begin with -- just look all washed out and depressing, plus the soundtrack usually sounds like it was made by a guy named Morty in the Soundtrack Room who hasn't even been told the plot and just magicks up some stuff with tootling flutes and odd emphasis on apparently random lines, and the people who applied it to the movie weren't actually watching the movie in question when they "synched" it up. You know what I mean?

7:24 AM  

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