Friday, May 23, 2014

California is both the greatest, and the worst.

Goddammit, we have to talk about vegetable lasagna. Or, rather, vegetable "lasagna," because that is some air-quote-deserving bullshit right there.

Why do people think that people who don't eat meat or just don't feel like it today would rather eat a goddamn panful of wet gross zucchini and wrong-textured bell peppers sliding all around over the noodles instead of: CHEESE LASAGNA? The kind that is just like the traditional meat version, but without the meat? It's the same people who, if you say you don't want meat on your pizza, will come back to you with a pizza-like item that is fucking covered with two pounds of broccoli and red onion and (again -- AGAIN -- with this fucking stuff) zucchini. What the fuck is that? I didn't say I wanted a fucking farmer's market on top of some bread, hippie! And listen, don't try to tell me that the vegetable "lasagna" or the Jolly Green Giant "pizza" is healthy, or even "healthier," because it's not -- you already made the decision to eat something that is basically carbs and cheese, so own it, and get that cock-knuckled vegetable shit out of my face.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Betsy said...

Counterpoint: the kind with Alfredo sauce and, like, a tablespoon of chopped veggies is delicious.

12:56 PM  
Blogger Sarah Brown said...

I'm not even a vegetarian and now I want cheese lasagna.

1:33 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Me too -- which is what started me down this curse-filled path. No es posible. It was either meaty meat mc meatful, or vegetable pile. Grrr.

11:28 AM  

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