Monday, March 24, 2014

It's like our Sergeant said before one trip into the jungle: "MEN! Fifty of ya are leavin on a mission. Twenty-five of ya ain't comin back."


Last Days of School, Ranked From Most Awesomest to Worst Crappiest

3rd grade: Party at Miss B.'s actual house! Rolling down that crazy-steep sloped lawn! Lemonaaade!
11th grade: We are officially the kings of the world! SENIORS 1992!!!! Also I leave for D.C. in a few days to spend the summer as a Congressional Page, so hand me a wine cooler and let's tear this place UP!
8th grade: I'm in Washington, D.C., gettin' my National Spelling Bee on. Fuck yeah! Also: I never have to play that fucking flute again, boyeeeeee! I'm free!
4th grade: Feels like summer, the circus is in town, and we have a trampoline at my house!
10th grade: No more geometry! Pile in my car, we're gonna drive around this town till the gas runs out, y'all!
1st grade: Popsicles and air-conditioning over at our grandmother's house! Yay!
2nd grade: Everything is awesome!
9th grade: Woo hoooooo! Only one more summer without a car! Quick, get your sister to drive us to the mall so we can see Major League again (and again, and again).
5th grade: Ucch. This was a weird year, socially, and a relatively tough one, academically (particularly math-wise -- I've begun to struggle). Glad it's done.
12th grade: Zinging back and forth between euphoria, cheap nostalgia, dramatic sentiment, terror, elation, and super-weirdness, everything feels Important and both too big and too small all at once.
7th grade: Oh thank CHRIST this year is over.
6th grade: Holy shit we have to hide! We have to hide from the 7th and 8th graders! They're gonna get us with shaving cream and flour! Run, goddammit, RUN!

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