Look away, Mr. Gleemonex. Just ... look away. You don't wanna see this.

31/40

So yesterday, because I am a grown-ass woman who can eat whatever I want, I had for my lunch a room-temperature (and thus properly-textured) half-round of the Cowgirl Creamery Mt. Tam, which is the most delicious cheese in the entire universe. I smeared big honkin' scoops of it on these mini croccanti crackers from Whole Foods (which by the bye is where I got the cheese, I could crawl into that cheese case and live the rest of my life in it quite happily), and in between I ate slices of the most delicious honeycrisp apple for a palate cleanser plus also it (the apple) was, as I said, delicious, and alongside it all I drank two cups of fantastic super-dark extra-strong coffee with all of the sugars and all of the half-and-halfs. It was wonderful, and I was not hungry again until my actual dinnertime -- which is to say that, lunchwise, though probably not snackwise on account of logistics, also it beats eating Pirate's Booty straight out the bag over the sink. I'd sell a patella for a round of that fucking Mt. Tam. Who needs a patella, really? Just cut an air-hockey puck to the right size and stitch it up.