Friday, April 04, 2014

Isn't childbirth grounds for a make-up test?


So I have a lot of friends who are teachers and even more who are parents, and they've all been going completely spastic lately about whichever standardized testing their kids and/or students are doing this time of year. Like posting on Facebook, "All prayers and good thoughts welcome as Ava Gracelynne's 8th-grade class takes the BARG test this week!" or "Double whammy -- my two are both doing the SPRAT test today and tomorrow! But I think they'll knock it out of the park! Fingers crossed!" or "Oh dear Shatner, just help my students get through DERP week!"

The thing is, though, I used to fucking LOVE standardized testing. LOVE it. It helped that I was always in like the 100th percentile, so the shit was eaaaazzzy, but also it was awesome to have the school routine broken up like that. Hours-long chunks, sometimes even whole days or several whole days, given over to the silent, orderly, deeply peaceful filling out of tiny circles with a #2 pencil. Nobody talks, you don't get more algebra homework, you take a break for some Chee-tos and Coke and then get right back to it (pencils freshly sharpened). It was heaven, or as close as you could get while you were attending public school.

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Blogger francine said...

AGREED. There is something really soothing about pencils (the sharpening, the holding, the smell) and filling in ovals as far as the eye can see. And the teachers being very uncomfortable as they are reading the instructions out exactly as detailed in probably some agonizingly long meeting that results in making teachers more nervous about testing than students. I loved seeing (otherwise super casual) teachers reading in a very stilted, formal manner. It meant my week meant early dismissal (possibly) and no homework (definitely).

4:59 PM  

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