Tuesday, February 12, 2013

As I skulked around the airport, I realized that I was still wearing my police identification badge.

My sister-in-law posted on the facebooks that she can't bring a balloon kittycat home on the plane from a convention she is attending. I love her, but I think she is just not giving the required level of effort here. And so: 

Things Which I Have Transported With Me In the Coach Cabin of Commercial Aircraft

--My wedding dress, DFW - SFO via Las Vegas (fog-related emergency landing), Burbank (carried by another airline entirely) and a seven-hour drive up California in a rental car with 2 strangers also stranded in Burbank 

--Twelve vegetable samosas from Indian Cafe, EWR - DFW

--Two children under the age of five, solo, SJC - DFW / DFW - SJC

--Forty oz., total, in 5-oz packets, frozen expressed breastmilk, SFO - DFW

--Six packages of Morrison's Corn-Kits (cornbread mix), DFW - SFO

--Eight onion bagels with scallion cream cheese from Columbia Bagels, LGA - DFW

--A set of hot rollers, still hot from the morning's hairdo, which disturbed and alarmed the security peoples but was in the end allowed to travel with me, DFW - LGW

--A tennis racket and the entirety of my CD collection (~125 units), MIA - DFW

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Blogger bonnjill said...

Remember the days when you could carry on a bag or two and then a couple shopping bags and never get chastised for it? Ah, those were the days. I remember when I moved home from studying abroad in Austria back in 1990 I carried on a carry-on bag, huge cardboard tube with all my rolled posters and pictures slung over my shoulder using a braided rope that I had fashioned, a bag with a straw hat with dried flowers on it, and assorted other items that I no longer remember. That shit would never fly these days. The cardboard tube sure didn't fit in the overhead bins or under the seat in front of me. I jammed it up against the wall next to me. And kept the hat on my lap so it wouldn't get crushed. True story. The hat is still hanging on the wall in my bedroom and the cardboard tube is in my junk room.

10:54 AM  
Blogger francine said...

sometimes i wish they'd say, "sorry lady, but you're not allowed to bring your kids on the plane. someone else will have to drive them."

12:18 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

bonnjill: I know, right? I got onboard on my way home from freshman year of college with a king-size pillowcase full of a lot of random shit that wouldn't fit in my insanely huge checked bag or the duffel or the gym bag I was also carrying on. WTF. And just stuffed it all anywhere it would go, including in my lap. The 90s were a more innocent time ...

francine: Ha! yeah ... and I remember when I used to like flying -- I'd take an Ativan and/or have a cocktail, read books, listen to my iPod. Now it's an amped-up thrillride of trying to keep the Queen entertained and Agent Entropy from wrecking the entire aircraft with hands and voice and I have to be substance-free because I can't let my attention slip for ONE MILLISECOND OR WE'RE ALL TOAST.

11:05 AM  
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11:40 PM  

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