Friday, February 01, 2013

Imagine if the landlord from Lebowski was a 13-year-old girl

Oh goddammit Internets. I can barely type this through the tears of wheezy, cackling laughter, but you -- especially you and you -- will thank me for it. It's like the video in Infinite Jest -- "the Entertainment" -- which is so perfect that, when viewed, causes the viewer to do nothing else basically until they die. I think I'll let Alec Baldwin tell you about it:

Alec Baldwin: My guilty pleasure like that was when I was in my 20’s and I’d go to my friend’s house. And we just had this weird habit, where like at 4:00 in the afternoon we would like make a drink and we’d roll the biggest joint and we’d smoke pot and watch a show called "Stairway to Stardom" that was on public access TV. And "Stairway to Stardom" was this older man. He kind of looked like Rod Steiger – he was a burly-looking, tough-looking older man – and his wife. And she kind of looked like Tammy Faye Baker. She was like a big, big honeycombed, shellacked hairdo. She was like this big, bosomy older woman.
And the guy would come out, and he had the funniest voice. He’d be like, ‘Welcome, everyone, to "Stairway to Stardom."’ And they’d sing a song, an opening song, and then they would bring out acts that would perform, that were all like local Queens, Brooklyn talent; people singing and parakeets. It was like – it was bizarre.
Lena Dunham: That sounds like the best thing in the world.
Alec Baldwin: It was the best show in the world, especially if you’d smoked an enormous –
Lena Dunham: Amount of marijuana.
Alec Baldwin: An enormous joint. 
I don't even partake of herbal jazz cigarettes anymore, and this is the greatest thing in the WORLD. 

Hat tip: Mr. Gleemonex, who got it from Alec Baldwin's podcast. Reader, I married him! 

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Blogger francine said...

i am totally going to drink a fat glass of wine (no jazz cigs for me anymore either) and treat myself to this video tonight. this sounds eerily (delightfully) similar to a local show we had when i was in middle school called "stars and rainbows" and it was hosted by a girl a year older than me. maybe her dad ran the station? i can't remember. but it was basically local "talent" and girls our age doing dance routines they made up at slumber parties.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

i am dying ...

The one I remember most was the one we did at Julie W.'s house to Samantha Fox's "Touch Me." It took the 11 of us till about 3:00 a.m., the night of a win for both the A and B teams in 8th grade basketball.

10:57 AM  
Blogger francine said...

A & B teams! i feel like you all were probably all dancing in socks on carpet (why did we never remove our socks?). well, i couldn't wait any longer and that video is definitely top 3 for things i love on youtube. the song is amazing. just imagine: multiply those acts by the number of all the local access channels in the u.s. and there is so much we will never see! and that makes me so frustrated!

1:19 PM  
Blogger Uncle Spike said...

OMG...that has to be the gayest thing I have seen yet this year. (And you know I don't mean it in the derogatory sense, either.) The intro is the earwormiest earworm I've heard in a long time. Like "Tom's Diner" worthy. Awe. Some.

8:19 PM  

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