Monday, April 28, 2008

or maybe it was Hamm's, I don't know

Am I the only one who missed this insanity? Jimmy Fallon taking over Conan’s slot, while the goofy (yet surprisingly and hottly cut) redhead gives Leno the boot? I didn’t even know my boy Conan was moving up an hour (shows how Up on Current Events I am, right?).

Why would anyone want to leave the late-late show? So much more freedom, a smidge more cred – it’s like if you’re a really good writer, they eventually make you editor, and then managing editor, where all you do is manage. Which blows. But it’s the only way to make more money, so you take it, and sit around getting bitter and miserable from all the goddamned managing you have to do and you don’t get to write anymore and why couldn’t they just have kept paying you more to do the same job? Damn.

So, two more points on this, and then I’ll let you go on your merry way:

1) Fallon? Really?

2) Why are there no women talk show hosts? I mean, aren’t we a bunch of talky bitches, as a species? I don’t mean casserole/tampon/you-go-girl shit like Oprah or The View (which I’ve heard Howard Stern dismiss contemptuously as “a bunch of fucking yentas sitting around running their mouths like always,” a statement with which I cannot disagree). I mean: Conan’s show, but with some funny broad behind the desk. (And please, please do not write the words “Sarah Silverman” in the comments – THAT is not what I mean at all.)

I’m saying, someone like my friend Rich Hilary (who used to lie in wait for me on the way to class on sunny spring days, brandishing a sixer of Black Label in my face and DEMANDING that I accompany her to the lawn instead and drink this fucking cheap beer and get a goddamn tan already, you SAID the professor doesn’t even know how many people are in your class, let alone your name or whether you’re there or not, bitch!). Somebody sorta loud and brash, with wide-ranging interests, an amazing ability for recall, devastatingly sharp wit, a keen sense of the absurd, the ability to draw secrets and truth out of absolutely anyone, and a blazing fearlessness in re: stepping over the line. Come to think of it, why not Rich Hilary? Or, I don’t know, Sars (of Tomato Nation & TWOP fame)? I’d totally watch that.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Panda!!!! said...

Didn't Joan Rivers host the Tonight Show for a hot second?

12:01 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

I think the Fallon thing has been wrapped up since he left SNL. He's been stewing and making bad movies/commercials, waiting for the reigns.

Oprah (or O-fra as my Nana says)and her flock - Martha, Rachel Ray, etc. ruined the chance of talk shows being hosted by women.

I always knew that too much Maya Angelou, cassarole recipes and butt-flattering jeans would be our ruin.

12:56 PM  
Blogger alyce said...

I'd wager a guess that the oldie about women not being funny is why the powers that be in Hollywood have decreed no late-night talk shows hosted by the wimmins.

4:40 PM  

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