Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Plus someday it's going to AMAZE you how thoroughly well you remember all the lyrics of late '80s/early '90s Aerosmith, and you'll wish with heretofore unknown intensity that you had that brainspace free now.

And While I'm Thinking About It, Teenage Me (Not That I Would've Listened to Old-Ass Me):

You have to stop writing quotes all over stuff from songs you've never heard, books you've never read, and philosophies you don't understand. I'm serious, stop it. Instances of this were legion, but I (blessedly) can't remember them all; however, here are some specifics:

--Bruce Springsteen songs. The lyrics of "Born to Run" are pretty great; they speak to the teenage heart ("no one in this shithole gets me, and someday I'm hittin' the road with the One who does," basically). But OMG when you actually hear this song, some ten, fifteen years hence? You are not gonna BELIEVE what it sounds like. It sounds NOTHING like what you think in your head. You're going to feel like a dummy when you realize that. Although it's not anywhere near the cringeworthiness of this next one:

--Ayn Rand. I cannot even. What the fuck. You think it makes you ultra-cool, like some kind of teenage iconoclast, to scribble upon your geometry folder, "I came here to say that I do not recognize anyone's right to one minute of my life." Where did you even get that from? Jesus. You and this fuckin guy and every "got mine, fuck you if you can't get yours" douchebro on the planet. 

--Communism. You actually do not understand what this is, as evidenced by your simultaneous adoption of hippie style, careful lettering of "END COMMUNISM" on a collage poster you made of a whole bunch of cool '60s stuff, and arguing with the stupid chucklefuck of a Government teacher* that "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs" is truly the only valid structure for a Christian society. Go to the library, read up -- no skimming to sound smart this time, OK?

*Truly, sincerely, the man was a stupid chucklefuck and a complete asshole besides. I fucking still hate that guy. 

Labels: , , , , , ,


Blogger francine said...

I want to go hang out with teenage you! I need to ask my high school teacher friends how they don't laugh in the faces of their students every single day. One friend told me yesterday she has an actual student who is actually named Blaine. Which is actually hilarious and actually nuts.

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Jane Ann said...

I came across a bunch of old eighth grade notes in which I had signed, "Love ya, DNQ*" on ALL of them. Nothing like a little nostalgia to keep a sister humble, amirite?

*Dearly Not Queerly

9:44 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Francine: O the dying I am doing over here!

Jane Ann: That is hysterrrrrrr!!! We always said "LYLAS," (love you like a sister), but if we'd known DNQ we'd'a used it. [headdesk] [shame cringe]

12:39 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home