Friday, May 25, 2012

When I am King you will be first against the wall

So I'm looking through the restaurants section of Fodor's Hawaii 2012, for I shall soon have need of it, and I find I am mentally totting up:

Words and Phrases You Must Fucking Stop Using When Writing About Restaurants -- I Don't Care That It's Hard to Come Up With Other Words, Because That's What You Fucking Get Paid For: A Partial List

     This word is the living devil. 

wash down
     Ugh. Puts one in mind of having stuff stuck in the throat.

save room
     In my stomach, you mean? Bleah. Pleasant image.

     Do the locals really travel there in a pack, moving as one? Really? 

     So sick of good/bad moral judgements & valuations in re: food.

churning out
     This is supposed to increase my desire to go to this place? They "churn out" food?

melt in your mouth
     Again with the mouth stuff.

     I believe I have already discoursed 'pon this topic at some length.


chow down
     Perhaps you want I should chow down at the place that churns out food? What is this, a barnyard?

     So you mean people who would sell their own mama's pink housecoat for forty cent to get just one rock of it?

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