Thursday, January 31, 2008

Feverish baby, 75-minute sleep blocks for 48 hours = this post

People, what is so wrong with the word "vegetables?" Why have we apparently agreed, as a nation, in a massive secret vote that I was not registered for nor invited to, that we shall all now and forever after use the non-word "veggies" in place of each and every instance in which we mean to indicate the plant matter formerly known as "vegetables?"

What are we, toddlers? Are four syllables (or three, in my neck of the woods) simply too many for our lazy brains to pronounce? Did some douchebag marketing person decide vegetables need to be shorn of their old, staid image and enhippened by a snazzy new nickname, like Sunny D (which obviously all the Kids are into, now that it's no longer the fuddy-duddy Sunny Delight)? Have we sunk so far in our quest to avoid reality that we have to dress up all words as if they're frolicking gaily through a fucking Lucky Charms commercial?

Veggies. GOD. Makes me want to swear off all consumables except Marlboros, Kit-Kats and Boone's Farm wine product.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Hey Gleem,

I totally here you on the veggies issue. I despise that word. It's up there with referring to YOUR baby just as "baby." Like, "sometimes at night, baby will spit up." ARRRRRGGGHHHALSFOS234#@!

10:07 AM  
Blogger Meanie said...

my mother in law provides the following cringe-worthy vocabulary:

"bah-bah" (it's a bottle, dammit);
"lamb-lamb" (it's just one stuffed lamb, saying it once will suffice thank you); "panties" (arrrrrghh! underwear! we all wear underwear!)

wow, that felt good. thanks.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Stink Eye & Tube Steak said...

You wanna know what gets me? As a person who has a list a mile long of words I hate, there is actually a newer version of vegetables "out there" . . . VEG . As in hey guys, lets have some "veg" with our venison.

It is almost as bad as calling the paparazzi, "the Pap", and we girls all know what that means.

2:13 PM  
Blogger Princess Sparkle Pants said...

Awesome. And Lucky Charms used to be "Frosted Lucky Charms" (remember? they're magically... DELICIOUS!), too. But that's also simply not cool enough. But I am guilty of saying "Diapy" instead of diaper...

6:13 AM  
Blogger Erin Bradley said...

holy shit, i love you. this is one of my pet peeves. it's even worse to hear from men than women. i tried (unsuccessfully) to get an ex of mine to stop saying it. no avail.

equally bad = tummy

11:18 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Tummy! Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!

1:13 PM  

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