Thursday, January 26, 2012

At Citibank we will meet accident'ly

So you know how the NYT Mag got all redesigned for hipness and such not too long ago? Well, they now have this page of Short Attnention Span Theatre called the one-page magazine, chockablock with ickle tiny bitsies of things, and this last week one of them was a "brain twister" authored by Wil Shortz, whose day job is creating something I hate (crossword puzzles) and who has managed to create here something I hate even more: brain twisters.

Like the stupid riddle about the fox, the duck and the sack of grain and the farmer or whatever who has to get them all across the river in a rowboat without any of them injuring or eating the other (somebody actually asked Mr. Gleemonex this one in a JOB INTERVIEW once, kill me now), things advertised as "brain twisters" make me want to go on a tri-state arson spree.

This one was, specifically: Take "Frank Sinatra," remove six letters, leave the remaining ones in order, and what world capital is revealed?

I DON'T CARE. I don't care and you can't make me, and just because I don't fucking know and don't care doesn't mean I'm stupid and you are smart and clever and awesome. It just means you like these annoying goddamn brain twisters and I don't. "Take 'Frank Sinatra,'" my ass -- I wish you'd TRY to take Frank Sinatra. He'd knock you deader than old dad's hatband. You and that bitch Marilyn Vos Savant can go fuck yourselves.

The only brain twister I like is Stolichnaya vodka. Yeaaaah boyeeee!

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Blogger Uncle Spike said...

Should I be embarrassed that I actually gave this question some genuine thought...and came up with the answer? But I agree: what kind of line actually will devote itself to coming up with these inane puzzles?

2:35 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Ha! Well, I always feel a little assholey when I rant about stuff like this, because if it's your thing (where you = whoever in the universe, not You, Uncle Spike, necessarily!), well, knock yerself out. It just makes ME crazy, the way magic, personalized license plates and orangutans make me crazy. Yay blogs!

10:06 AM  
Blogger Guinness74 said...

Dangit, I used to like you woman! You don't like crossword puzzles? But, the spelling bee is your thing? I mean, I could overlook the Yankees and all, because that's a fun little rivalry...but crossword puzzles?

I do crossword puzzles in ink and try not to make mistakes. I try to do crossword puzzles in my head without even writing down letters. I giggle at double entendres within crossword puzzles. Will Shortz, in addition to being a great name, is a personal idol.

Oh, and I totally got the Frank Sinatra thing. But I'm not even telling you what it is! Man, you're a Turkey!

7:01 PM  

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