Boris ... why always Boris?

You know how Louis C.K. speculates as to what a "bag of dicks" is? Like, do they stick out of a brown paper bag, like baguettes, or what?

Well, that turn of phrase was introduced into my life by my Kansass pal K., who knows who he is if he's reading this, and was usually meant in the context of hung over -- as in we'd all be shuffling around Diamond Mike & Blondie's house the morning after a night of epic rocking and he'd go, "I feel like a bag of dicks." And I'd laugh and it would hurt, because epic rocking goes along with many beers and like as not a shot or three of Sauza or Hornitos because even though we are all old now, WE DON'T LEARN.

And but so, in my mind, the bag of dicks has always been something in the neighborhood of five to eight dicks, depending, and they're in one of those flimsy pink see-through plastic grocery bags like they only use in Chinatown and you see everyone schlepping around on the 30 bus, and the top of the bag is knotted and the aforementioned dicks are just kind of sloshing around in there.