Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Oh boy. They have sequins.

So I'm watching actual, live/real-time network TV on Friday night in the Emergency Room,* and something terrible called "Wife Swap" comes on.

And I can't decide which is worse:

--The self-described "all-American Texas football family," with the laughably self-described "trophy wife" (I think you bought it at the wrong trophy store, dude), the members of which prided themselves on being "hard-working" Republican Christians (with that ugly & disgusting assumption such people have, that anyone who isn't at least upper middle-class just doesn't like to work and is a lazy commie welfare cheat) who love football above all else, and having a mom/wife who literally does nothing but cook meat-based meals, clean the tract house, and attend various football-related activities for the two hulking porcine teenage date-rape suspects they called sons.

--The "hippie" family from Georgia, the members of which (especially the dad) do drum circles and "clowning" (not "clowning around," as in, goofing off -- I mean "dressing up like fucking MIMES and putting on little mime shows and shit, unironically, for spectators' presumed wonderment and delight"), have no actual jobs, and have a mom/wife who hasn't shaved her armpits in 20 years (because she doesn't believe in gender roles).

--The very concept of the show, designed to exploit everyone's worst preconceptions and prejudices for trainwreck-style entertainment under the guise of busting those very notions down. BULLLLLLLLLLLSHIT.


*The kid had what turned out to be croup, fixable with a few 'roids, some ibuprofen, and boatloads of Yo Gabba Gabba. But it was after-hours, so off to the ER we went, on the alarmed say-so of the advice nurse after we held the phone up so she could hear the kid breathing her horrible terrifying rattly wheezy breaths. Good times!

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Blogger alison said...

I can sympathize. Leah didn't start getting croup until she was 5, scared the shit out of me when I heard that horrible wheezy attempts at breath and her whispered, "I can't breathe, mummy." And I did the 2 a.m. run to emerg too. I'm glad she's feeling better. I know nothing about Yo Gabba Gabba though, my kids were more the Wiggles, Bear in the Big Blue House and Blues Clues vintage.

Oh, and the Texas football family is worse, just on general principles.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

I agree -- BLERRRRRGH on the football family. They're the worst.

You should try YGG -- it's really a good show (I hear it even has a, um, college following. If you get me. And I think you do.)

5:38 PM  

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