Internet Fun Happy Question Time With Your Host, Gleemonex
In which I ask the unaskable, and answer the unanswerable.
Q.: How many times can you say “Rufus Wainwright” before it becomes “Wufus Wehnwiiigh,” like it’s Baba Booey instroducin de myftery gueft on Stern?
A.: Sober, twice. When vodka is involved, none.
Q.: Will there ever come a day when you are able to see or even think of this without springing instant tears of strangled, semi-hysterical laughter, and feeling like you might hyperventilate from the hilarity?
A.: I certainly hope not, and I’m kind of offended that you asked. For when a person is tired of Men Who Look Like Zach Braff, a person is tired of life.
Q.: How many times per day do you find yourself saying “Really?” in the “Really?!? With Seth & Amy” manner, either in your head or out loud?
A.: A minimum of once, and up to eight times. Some days I am more incredulous than others, but incredulity and bogglement do tend to find me at least every 24 hours.
Q.: Does it ever, ever stop being funny to say stuff about how this guy wants to watch the opposing pitcher weave and breathe his story lines, or how he plays like he’d never surrender?
A.: No. No it does not. At least, not if it’s me or Mr. Gleemonex making the jokes. If it’s the FOX commentators, it’s worth a spontaneous stabbing at least.
Q.: Of the six women on the elevator up this morning, including yourself, how many were wearing an outfit of which the top half was composed of a tank or cap-sleeve shirt with a cardigan over it?
A.: Six.
Q.: No, I said, including yourself.
A.: Six.
Q.: Really?!?
A.: Oh, shut up.
Q.: How many times can you say “Rufus Wainwright” before it becomes “Wufus Wehnwiiigh,” like it’s Baba Booey instroducin de myftery gueft on Stern?
A.: Sober, twice. When vodka is involved, none.
Q.: Will there ever come a day when you are able to see or even think of this without springing instant tears of strangled, semi-hysterical laughter, and feeling like you might hyperventilate from the hilarity?
A.: I certainly hope not, and I’m kind of offended that you asked. For when a person is tired of Men Who Look Like Zach Braff, a person is tired of life.
Q.: How many times per day do you find yourself saying “Really?” in the “Really?!? With Seth & Amy” manner, either in your head or out loud?
A.: A minimum of once, and up to eight times. Some days I am more incredulous than others, but incredulity and bogglement do tend to find me at least every 24 hours.
Q.: Does it ever, ever stop being funny to say stuff about how this guy wants to watch the opposing pitcher weave and breathe his story lines, or how he plays like he’d never surrender?
A.: No. No it does not. At least, not if it’s me or Mr. Gleemonex making the jokes. If it’s the FOX commentators, it’s worth a spontaneous stabbing at least.
Q.: Of the six women on the elevator up this morning, including yourself, how many were wearing an outfit of which the top half was composed of a tank or cap-sleeve shirt with a cardigan over it?
A.: Six.
Q.: No, I said, including yourself.
A.: Six.
Q.: Really?!?
A.: Oh, shut up.
Labels: beisbol a been berry berry good to me, booze makes things better, cryin' amazacrazy, cubejammin', fuckyeahtinafey, Lookee what the Internets done brung me today, things that are great
posted by Gleemonex at 10:24 AM
2 Comments:
At least the whole camisole-as-acceptable-work-attire phase has passed. Right? It's done, right??
Yeah, no. Not at all. But hey, dressing like you just came from the cover shoot of a Miami Sound Machine LP is back in a big way, so there's that.
Post a Comment
<< Home