Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Can I just ask what is the fucking DEAL with everything in the grocery store yelling about how great it is for your bowels? First that stupid yogurt (the commercials keep saying how great you'll feel & how much energy you'll have and how awesome life will be and how your kids and your dog will definitely start loving you again and your husband will quit cheating on you with that leggy young hottie who -- it is implied -- never has a problem dropping steamers), then the known fiber cereals reminding us all how they were totally on this trend back in the eighties and but only now they taste less like henhouse insulation ("Colon Blow and youooooooooooo ... in the morrr-ning!") , and now it's everygoddamnbody -- pecans in the bakery aisle, certain kinds of milk and orange juice, crackers -- I spotted a redesigned Raisin Bran box, good old little damn Raisin Bran, where there's this tiny little picture of the cereal in question and the other 80 percent of the front was this huge proclamation about DIGESTIVE HEALTH. Why why whyyyyyyyy? Why do we have to talk about this stuff? WHY?

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Blogger Panda!!!! said...

I wonder the same thing. But I also am concerned that I'm just more attuned to these messages now that I'm older and they're more - ahem - relevant.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Uncle Spike said...

Digestive health = VERY closely linked with health in general. The gut is the site of the highest concentration of immune tissue in the body. Mistreat the gut, and your immune system will rear its ugly head. Compromised gut integrity has been linked with everything from simple diarrhea to life-altering/threatening autoimmune diseases of all sorts.
Incidentally, my SIL has a great way to mitigate the not-so-yummy taste of Colon Blow...mix it half and half with another cereal.
Also incidentally...using yogurt to maintain digestive health (especially the processed stuff filled with HFCS they have nowadays) is like attacking a dragon with a plastic spork. Particularly if one has a dairy allergy or lactose intolerance. (oops...I may have just pushed one of your buttons...I know how you feel about "food allergies"...)
Anyhoo, off my soapbox.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Oh, I didn't mean to say that there's no such thing as digestive health or that it's not important ... I just mean, do we GOTTA talk about it on national TV?

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Amanda O'Brien said...

You sound constipated.


7:15 PM  

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