I got cake like ...
3 MORE SECONDS TO CHOOSE YOUR KNIFE
Is anyone else having trouble letting go of the “Jammies!” video from SNL last week? I woke up at 4:12 a.m. Monday morning, unable to force the ol’ brain needle to skip this track – kept seeing Franco bending the glo necklace, looking around all confused … thinking of “Pills! Pills! Everyone must take at least one pill!” … then the bloody carnage at the end … it’s real weird, y’all.
COME, COME, NUCLEAR BOMB
Speaking of real weird: My friend the Mick sent me a Holiday Card from her law firm. I’ll address this to her directly: OK, so I got this one in January, which is a real improvement over getting the Holiday 2008 one in October 2009, so yay USPS! But the thing is, though I did (and still do) fear the Floating Wreath of Doom on 2008’s missive, I am much more cowed by the half-second-after-the-blast hydrogen-bomb glow of the aught-nine edition. This is the photo taken in the fraction of an instant before the trees all blow toward me and I’m vaporized. Well played, [Law Frim], well played.
IT’S LIKE A THING FROM THE FUTURE, LIKE THE LIQUID METAL TERMINATOR FROM T2 ONLY NOT TRYING TO KILL YOU
I hardly know how to say this, so I’m going to gank the words from the fabulous Blabbermouse:
She’s right, as always. I have no idea what went on in my house after I opened this giftie at like 9:30. No clue. But so why now, and not at xmas? Cause today my birfday, y’all! And with that, I’ll conclude this post with a little trip in the wayback machine:
SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO TELL MY 26-YEAR-OLD SELF, NOT THAT I WOULD’VE LISTENED TO ME:
Girl, you are about to go to the Front Room and celebrate today’s birthday by drinking a truly obscene amount of beer with Mr. Gleemonex, the Smeefers, Stinking Kevin, the Asian Sensation, and … um, some other people, maybe Lebowski, I forget who all. Point is: $2.00 pitchers, y’all. So here’s an idea: why don’t you plan ahead and take TOMORROW off? You’re not going to, are you? All concerned about the amount of PTO you have in the bank? Well listen, sister. You’re gonna walk in to work late, sickened (more than usual) by the festering chaos of U.N. Plaza, and your boss’s boss is gonna look at you with your unwashed hair, untucked shirt, fresh-off-the-floor jeans and seen-better-days sneakers and say very dryly, “Casual Wednesday, eh?” And laaaaaugh his ass off.
Is anyone else having trouble letting go of the “Jammies!” video from SNL last week? I woke up at 4:12 a.m. Monday morning, unable to force the ol’ brain needle to skip this track – kept seeing Franco bending the glo necklace, looking around all confused … thinking of “Pills! Pills! Everyone must take at least one pill!” … then the bloody carnage at the end … it’s real weird, y’all.
COME, COME, NUCLEAR BOMB
Speaking of real weird: My friend the Mick sent me a Holiday Card from her law firm. I’ll address this to her directly: OK, so I got this one in January, which is a real improvement over getting the Holiday 2008 one in October 2009, so yay USPS! But the thing is, though I did (and still do) fear the Floating Wreath of Doom on 2008’s missive, I am much more cowed by the half-second-after-the-blast hydrogen-bomb glow of the aught-nine edition. This is the photo taken in the fraction of an instant before the trees all blow toward me and I’m vaporized. Well played, [Law Frim], well played.
IT’S LIKE A THING FROM THE FUTURE, LIKE THE LIQUID METAL TERMINATOR FROM T2 ONLY NOT TRYING TO KILL YOU
I hardly know how to say this, so I’m going to gank the words from the fabulous Blabbermouse:
So. I got an iPhone.
I GOT AN iPHONE!
TRA-LAH-la-LAH-LAH YEAH BITCHEZZZZ!
Hot damn, these things make you a bad wife.
She’s right, as always. I have no idea what went on in my house after I opened this giftie at like 9:30. No clue. But so why now, and not at xmas? Cause today my birfday, y’all! And with that, I’ll conclude this post with a little trip in the wayback machine:
SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO TELL MY 26-YEAR-OLD SELF, NOT THAT I WOULD’VE LISTENED TO ME:
Girl, you are about to go to the Front Room and celebrate today’s birthday by drinking a truly obscene amount of beer with Mr. Gleemonex, the Smeefers, Stinking Kevin, the Asian Sensation, and … um, some other people, maybe Lebowski, I forget who all. Point is: $2.00 pitchers, y’all. So here’s an idea: why don’t you plan ahead and take TOMORROW off? You’re not going to, are you? All concerned about the amount of PTO you have in the bank? Well listen, sister. You’re gonna walk in to work late, sickened (more than usual) by the festering chaos of U.N. Plaza, and your boss’s boss is gonna look at you with your unwashed hair, untucked shirt, fresh-off-the-floor jeans and seen-better-days sneakers and say very dryly, “Casual Wednesday, eh?” And laaaaaugh his ass off.
Labels: balls o'clock a.m., booze makes things better, cryin' amazacrazy, cubejammin', gee - your blog smells terrific, Stab stab stab stabbity stab, they ain't takin the TEE-vee
posted by Gleemonex at 10:37 AM
6 Comments:
WOOOO HHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Boo ya! Hoo za! Happy Birthday, BFF I've never met!
Happiest of birthdays...and congrats on the iPhone!
Happy day after your birthday!
Aw, thanks, y'all! :-)
happy happy birthday! I do remember it being in January, now that you mention it...in one of those missives from all those years ago.
happy late birfdays! geez, i have one baby and i'm out of the loop already!
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