Someday, my blog will have something to say about all this.

Flipping channels at the end of a long day, I stopped on Chiller and saw something that reminded me why -- and how desperately -- I want this for xmas: 

Donna Hayward, visiting James Hurley in jail and wearing the Large Dark Sunglasses of Sultry, Sexy Power, inhales deeply on a cigarette. 

James: I didn't know you smoked.

Donna, exhaling: I smoke from time to time. It helps relieve the tension. 

James: Since when did you get so tense?

Donna: Since I started ssmokin. 

Goddamn, do I love that show. It was my first real TV obsession (not counting That's Incredible! when I was like eight years old), and clearly, the hold persists. My friend CK and I would either watch at each other's house or call each other during every commercial break and screeeeeeam like banshees about what had just happened -- that's the kind of thing good obsessives did back in the day when there were no Internets. And between this show and Heathers, some 90 percent of my wardrobe at the time was short, pleated plaid skirts, tights, turtlenecks and jackets; I wanted to be a mysterious, weird brunette like you would not BELIEVE. 

Oh, and that thing with the cherry stem? I can do that. I've practiced.