Alice Cooper? Yeah, she's great!
A Selection of the Music-Related Tragedies of My Past
--Playing the flute in junior-high band. The flute can never, ever be cool. There's a reason only hippies and 11-year-old girls like it, you know? Tweeeedly toooodly tweet.
--Owning an Extreme CD. Sorry man, I was sixteen, and I had a thing for the hott super-long-haired one. Incidentally, was there ever a band that was LESS "extreme"? I am inclined to say not.
--Getting my dad to take me to this super-hip record store in Dallas after my (ultimately fruitless) Harvard interview. I looked like a dork in my interview clothes, among all those be-pierced and be-styled record store people, and my dad got all mad at how unhelpful and surly the kids all were. Better we should've gone bra shopping together. Ugh.
--Buying the 5-LP Eric Clapton Crossroads set for two songs: "Wonderful Tonight," which I now hate with a fiery loathing, and "Cocaine," which still is teh awesome. Clapton, for Shatner's sake. O how I hate that douchebag Clapton* -- but I didn't know any better in 8th grade, people. Forgive?
--Hating on [Appetite/Lies era] Guns N Roses for no reason. Somehow in my mind they got mixed up with all the stupid hair bands I legitimately hated at the time, and I could brook no GNR. I can't even remember how or why I came around, but I did, and I made molto amends for my initial off-target assessment. Amends that included jail! JAIL! (Story for another day.)
--Recording a Paula Abdul video on purpose. I taped the "Cold-Hearted" vid on a compilation for a friend who had no MTV, a compilation I promised would have only the good stuff. I ... dunno. Maybe I was in a hurry, or something.
[*Whom Mr Gleemonex believes is not just a hack and a douchey fool, but also a murderer -- he maintains that Clapton put Stevie Ray Vaughn on that plane cause he knew it was going to go down, and Clapton was jealous of SRV's skillz and wanted to remove the competish. I can't say I disagree, even though I personally am "meh" on SRV myself, not being a huge fan of guitar noodling in any form.]
--Playing the flute in junior-high band. The flute can never, ever be cool. There's a reason only hippies and 11-year-old girls like it, you know? Tweeeedly toooodly tweet.
--Owning an Extreme CD. Sorry man, I was sixteen, and I had a thing for the hott super-long-haired one. Incidentally, was there ever a band that was LESS "extreme"? I am inclined to say not.
--Getting my dad to take me to this super-hip record store in Dallas after my (ultimately fruitless) Harvard interview. I looked like a dork in my interview clothes, among all those be-pierced and be-styled record store people, and my dad got all mad at how unhelpful and surly the kids all were. Better we should've gone bra shopping together. Ugh.
--Buying the 5-LP Eric Clapton Crossroads set for two songs: "Wonderful Tonight," which I now hate with a fiery loathing, and "Cocaine," which still is teh awesome. Clapton, for Shatner's sake. O how I hate that douchebag Clapton* -- but I didn't know any better in 8th grade, people. Forgive?
--Hating on [Appetite/Lies era] Guns N Roses for no reason. Somehow in my mind they got mixed up with all the stupid hair bands I legitimately hated at the time, and I could brook no GNR. I can't even remember how or why I came around, but I did, and I made molto amends for my initial off-target assessment. Amends that included jail! JAIL! (Story for another day.)
--Recording a Paula Abdul video on purpose. I taped the "Cold-Hearted" vid on a compilation for a friend who had no MTV, a compilation I promised would have only the good stuff. I ... dunno. Maybe I was in a hurry, or something.
[*Whom Mr Gleemonex believes is not just a hack and a douchey fool, but also a murderer -- he maintains that Clapton put Stevie Ray Vaughn on that plane cause he knew it was going to go down, and Clapton was jealous of SRV's skillz and wanted to remove the competish. I can't say I disagree, even though I personally am "meh" on SRV myself, not being a huge fan of guitar noodling in any form.]
{corrrex to above: it was actually a helicopter, which Mr.G says Clapton loosened the bolts on, and adds to that the charge that Clapton pushed his own kid out the high-rise window for purposes sinister.}
posted by Gleemonex at 12:46 PM
11 Comments:
It was a helicopter that he loosened the bolts on...
Also, he pushed his own kid out a high rise window so that people would feel sorry for him and buy that shlocky "Tears From Heaven" crap.
Oh, right! Was thinking of Ritchie Valens/Buddy Holly .
..
Remember that guy who lived on our floor freshman year and had The Complete Works of Paula Abdul sung in Korean with a few English words sprinkled in every now and again? "She's a Cold Hearted Snake! [Korean, Korean, Korean]. Uh- oh! [Korean, Korean, Korean]."
Now THAT was a music-related tragedy.
And also, "The Lady In Red." On apparently infinite repeat. Kill kill KILL!
My friends April and Millie have this thing where they decided the most inappropriate song to do a club remix of would be Tears in Heaven. And then another friend actually did this. It's online somewhere.
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't e-ver let. me. go!
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know...
Ahh. So YOU had a thing for the super-long-haired hott one too, eh, Panda? ;-)
Sarah: That's as wrong as wrong can be. You, madam, are my kind of people.
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http://understandish.livejournal.com/220517.html
I played the flute, too. The flute is the WORST!
I have always had what others deemed an irrational loathing of EC. Seems rational enough to me. So glad I'm not alone.
<--- add me to the list of long haired Extreme lovers (of course the guy is staunchly anti-abortion and a bit of a loon, so it was only love from afar)
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