Thursday, November 01, 2007

A frozen elk heart left on yr doorstep wouldn't be enough

Can we please declare a permanent total moratorium on Jack Nicholson impressions, with the death penalty (via staking to a fire ant hill on a hot noonday in July at the Reunion grounds, with, of course, beer concessions, fireworks and carny games concurrent) imposed for first offenses? Please? I hate them so very

very

very

very fucking much. They've been stale and insufferably asinine for two decades now, and they're starting to make me hate Jacky-boy himself -- even Batman Jack, even Mars Attacks! Jack, even friend-of-Hunter-S.-Thompson Jack -- just for existing to be impressioned [new coinage, go with it]. Impressions suck the big wet scaly one anyway, just as a rule, but Jack Fucking Nicholson impressions have GOT TO FUCKING GO.

[This post brought to you by that stupid motherfuckin "frank TV" thing, whose commercials run every 43 seconds on TBS. Kill me now. But let me kill the person responsible with a ballpeen hammer first.]

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it my imagination or have you become especially hostile in the past few months? Not that I mind - I enjoy a good rage as much as anyone - I'm just curious.

6:28 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Oh, no -- this is just how I am! The rage goes here. I actually fear I'm losing my edge, being at home staring at my little bundle of total awesome (aka de baby) and telling her how beyootiful and precious she is all the time (really -- this is how I spend my days). So, never fear! Mental balance: Achieved.

12:07 PM  

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