Monday, April 09, 2007

Mister April


I am on record, many times over, with my hatred for the man, the myth, the sucktacular legend Alex “Choke Specialist 1st Class” Rodriguez, aka Suck-Rod, aka A-Hole. I hated him from way back when he was on the Mariners, showboating and grandstanding in an OK team in a cruddy division, getting lauded for being the Greatest Player Ever in the History of Organized Sport; I hated him when the Rangers fell for his snowjob and paid the most ridiculous salary ever; I’ve hated him more with every passing day that he has been a Yankee, fucking up the team’s chemistry, sucking up money, booting play after play after motherscratching play when it counts most — I never wanted him, I hate that we have him, and I’d gladly kill him with my own bare hands to keep him from playing another day in my beloved pinstripes.

So it is with mixed feelings that I see his performance so far this season. He’s homering like they’re gonna outlaw it tomorrow, which, yay for him and I don’t mind the Ws adding up. But I also hate hate hate it, because soon enough — mark my words — he’ll go so cold he’ll reverse global warming all by himself, and this is likely to happen DURING THE PLAYOFFS. Like always. Jesus H.

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3 Comments:

Blogger bgirl said...

God, that picture is atrocious. I don't have an opinion of him one way or the other (nor any other baseball player for that matter), but that cheesy picture just made me shudder. In a bad way.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Lisa Ann said...

I second you on the whole E-Rod thing. Even though I was at the game on Sat. & it was pretty damn exciting when he hit the walk-off granny.

8:19 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

E-Rod! Ha! forgot about that one. No denyin' the thrillz, though -- and I'm jealous that you got to see the Yanks. I miss them a real lot, out here -- they only do the one swing out to Oaktown (home of the WORST BASEBALL STADIUM IN THE HISTORY OF EVER), and it was impossible for me to go this year; their 3-game series against the SF Giants in June sold out in 6 minutes while I watched helplessly from two laptop screens, and now the tix are on Craigslist for $400 and up. Fuckers.

9:16 AM  

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