Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I'm entirely sure, you're entirely sure, what I'm suggesting.

Yet another of the million reasons I cannot wait to vote again for my President, Barack Obama -- I'll let Mr. Gleemonex take this one:

Which teen would you rather have grow up to be president? A guy who peacefully hangs with his friends hotboxing pakalolo or a dick who pins a guy down and forcefully cuts his hair off cuz he looks different and is probably gay?

On a slightly different but related note: We watched Obama on Fallon (finally), and it was awesome. But I wanna take a moment to discuss the futon that was in the cool-ass photo they discussed on air -- a young Barry, looking cool as shit with a small fro and a nice smile, sitting on a futon covered in (probably) a sheet, with a plant in the background (Fallon was like, "Lookit you, tryna be all grown up, class up the place with a plant!" Heh.). And I'm thinking: I will bet you one hundred dollars, cash American, that Mitt "Entitled Motherfuckin Gay-bashing Asstard" Romney has no fucking idea what a futon is. I mean that if you asked him to define the word, he could not get anywhere close; he would not even know that it belongs in the category "furniture." It works in reverse, too: If you showed him a photo, he absolutely could not come up with the word "futon." Why would he? He's never seen one in his entire life. Futons are for Poors, and he's never even met one of those. 

The craw -- in which this is stuck -- is getting crowded
So also (you'll notice a theme here) we're always like two or three weeks behind on SNL episodes (the fact that we are awakened at the very tippy-top of the asscrack of dawn every morning -- even weekends and holidays! --  by the four-year-old bursting through our door with a book has much to do with this), and we only just watched the one with Kristen Wiig's big send-off a few days ago, and I have not been able to get over it. 

I don't like her much -- at least, not unalloyed. When she's allowed to hog up all the airtime with her awful maybe-funny-the-first-time-but-certainly-not-the-forty-third-time recurring sketches as she's done the last couple of years, it's goddamn near unbearable (not as bad as the dull, stupid horrorshow that is Armisen, but still, not good). (Quick note about Bridesmaids, if I may -- I laughed a LOT more than I thought I would, which is entirely attributable to the Feig/Apatow influence, but both Wiig and Rudolph were about five to seven years too old for their characters; it took me out of the story a little.) 

And but so whatever, I'm only one person. Other people dig her flavor. BUT: Why the big sendoff? Did I miss how she's so deeply, universally beloved and revered as both person and sketch comic that her FINALLY leaving is such a notable event -- the Passing of an Era, the Exit of a True Icon, the worth and weight of her presence so enormous that her departure demands tribute from All Who Came Before Her, to be noted by All Present and All Who Shall Ever Follow? 

Fucking Cocksnacking Shatner, what a load that was. There've been a few sendoffs of note, but nobody who's ever been on that show has ever had anything like this one. Ugh. Well, silver lining: No more Wiig on SNL! Yay! Now -- can we get rid of Armisen? Please? PLEASE. I beg. 

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