Don't let too many monkeys fly out of your butt!

Actual Things Written By My Classmates In My Junior Yearbook, the 1991 Crag, In Which, Oddly, I Mostly Do Remember What the Fuck They're Talking About:
[Part III of a series]

Don’t Dance too hard with Mr. B. at the G’N’R concert!
--girl who, like me, had no idea how that was going to end up

Remember: eat your cereal w/a fork & do your homework in the dark.
--fellow Pump Up the Volume obsessive and Winona Ryder/River Phoenix worshipper - a guy with whom I used to call booze “liquid fun,” who now has an actual TV show, on network TV

I’ll never forget your attitude problem and me, the anarchist pervert. … Chemistry always and forever. … anyways don’t dye your hair black and chop it off.
--Lab Partner (NB: hair comment refs my obsession with Winona Ryder and announced intention, never fulfilled, to get hair like hers & like Samantha Mathis’s in Pump Up the Volume)

Yeah I’m going to be a Looser and cruise the country in my Jeep listening to Eagles, Doors, James Taylor, and Steve Miller. Yeah, so what if it’s a lame dream – I’ll probably end up cruising [Cowburg] County in a bug that doesn’t have a radio. Dreams are good.
--Lab Partner’s sister, now a fine upstanding citizen and architect

OH BABY! I want to lick creme de menthe from his chest
--CK, below a pic of the coach with whom she was … somewhat obsessed

Going to the Regional Science Fair was about the worst thing I have ever done in my life.
--CK, who knew I would’ve found it so myself

I’ve watched you over the years and you have gotten prettier every year! Now you are a beautiful young woman.
--some girl I absolutely cannot place, but whose comment now sort of creeps me out

Who knows where it will go [“it” being the fact that we kissed once], how long it will last [bout two more months, at which point I found a boyfriend who didn't say stuff like that] or if I will live past 25 [holy Shatner, dramatic much?].
--guy with whom I was in the last phase of obsession; same Facebook philosopher as in the previous installment of this series of posts

Have a great congressional summer and try not to get mugged by Mike Tyson too many times.
--future member of the Dirty Dozen, re: my upcoming summer in D.C. as a Congressional Page