Great Moments in Parenting, Vol. I

Sunday morning, balls o’clock a.m. Gleemonex and Mr. Gleemonex lie half-awake and slightly hungover, listening to 13-month-old Kid Gleemonex on the baby monitor as she holds court in her crib with Cloth Book and Pink Rattly Dog, using the couple dozen words she knows for sure (no, mama, daddy, baby, boxes, kitty, doggy, bird, mooooo, yeah, hello, milk, down, more, &c.) combined with nonsense babble in fluent conversation, with flawless inflection – questions, answers, declarations, imprecations, hilarious jokes. It’s pretty awesome, and more than a little amazing. After a time, they speak.

Gleemonex, somewhat reluctantly: So I guess we have to clean up our language around her now, huh? Stop dropping all those F-bombs?

Mr. Gleemonex, judiciously: Nah. Not until she’s got her pronunciations down better.