Mike Dexter broke up with Amanda!
Internets: So hey, Gleemonex, whatcha been up to?
Gleemonex: Aaah, nothin much. Stirrin the shit in the ol' hometown newspaper.
Internets: Oh yeah?
Gleemonex: Yeah. It's hilarious -- they upgraded their website, and the letters to the editor now allow direct comments.
Internets: Do tell!
Gleemonex: I tried to resist --
Internets: Uh huh. Riiight.
Gleemonex: -- but they had all these seriously pants-wettingly funny letters invoking the Big Daddy In the Sky to "help" people decide who to vote for in the election (guess who they think it oughta be, right?), and the funniest one -- oh man, Internets, it was sofa king hilare -- it said "Obama is the Anti-Christ!" Haaaaaaaaaa!!!
Internets: ha ha ha. No really, what did it say?
Gleemonex: HAAAAAAA HA HA HA HAAAA! I'm serious! "Obama is the Anti-Christ!" Isn't that HYSTERICAL?
Internets: ...
Gleemonex: What? You don't think that's hilare?
Internets: Not ... not really, no. I mean, more ... "fucked-in-the-head, ball-shrinkingly scary" than "hilare."
Gleemonex: Well, yeah, of course -- but still.
Internets: So, uh. Could anyone go there to stir the shit?
Gleemonex: I guess so, sure. If you know what the website is.
Internets: You could just tell me.
Gleemonex: Mmmmno. I'm not tryna stir that much shit. I mean, I still have family there, and they're kind of more on that side than on mine. If you know where it is, you can investigate for yourself -- and frankly, we could use a few shit-stirrers who don't refer to the Democratic candidate for President as "B. Hussein Obama."
Internets: Seriously, they do that?
Gleemonex: Oh yeah. You don't even know. It's a whole other world out there.
Internets: I guess so, huh? [leaves to go stir some shit]
Gleemonex: Aaah, nothin much. Stirrin the shit in the ol' hometown newspaper.
Internets: Oh yeah?
Gleemonex: Yeah. It's hilarious -- they upgraded their website, and the letters to the editor now allow direct comments.
Internets: Do tell!
Gleemonex: I tried to resist --
Internets: Uh huh. Riiight.
Gleemonex: -- but they had all these seriously pants-wettingly funny letters invoking the Big Daddy In the Sky to "help" people decide who to vote for in the election (guess who they think it oughta be, right?), and the funniest one -- oh man, Internets, it was sofa king hilare -- it said "Obama is the Anti-Christ!" Haaaaaaaaaa!!!
Internets: ha ha ha. No really, what did it say?
Gleemonex: HAAAAAAA HA HA HA HAAAA! I'm serious! "Obama is the Anti-Christ!" Isn't that HYSTERICAL?
Internets: ...
Gleemonex: What? You don't think that's hilare?
Internets: Not ... not really, no. I mean, more ... "fucked-in-the-head, ball-shrinkingly scary" than "hilare."
Gleemonex: Well, yeah, of course -- but still.
Internets: So, uh. Could anyone go there to stir the shit?
Gleemonex: I guess so, sure. If you know what the website is.
Internets: You could just tell me.
Gleemonex: Mmmmno. I'm not tryna stir that much shit. I mean, I still have family there, and they're kind of more on that side than on mine. If you know where it is, you can investigate for yourself -- and frankly, we could use a few shit-stirrers who don't refer to the Democratic candidate for President as "B. Hussein Obama."
Internets: Seriously, they do that?
Gleemonex: Oh yeah. You don't even know. It's a whole other world out there.
Internets: I guess so, huh? [leaves to go stir some shit]
Labels: balls in YOUR mouth sir, christ on toast points -- politics, cryin' amazacrazy, I really am sort of an asshole sometimes, Lookee what the Internets done brung me today
posted by Gleemonex at 9:09 AM
6 Comments:
A lady from my church said the same thing a few months ago... that Obama was maybe the Antichrist. It shocked me, really... this "superChristian", fearing for the Antichrist? In her faith (and mine), if the Antichrist is here, we should NOT be. People are dumb.
Since your hometown newspaper is also my hometown newspaper,it is my duty to assist you in the shit-stirring. There aren't many of us on "this" side of things re: politics. I'm on my way now.
Thank you, Bethie! Bring a looong stick!
PSP: Scary, ain't it?
This is precisely why I worry that I live in a bubble. It took me getting on a plane to see my first McCain/Palin shirt. And when I was returning home on that same trip, the couple in front of me at airport security tried to carry on a Costco-sized bottle of Pert Plus. They admitted to the TSA agent that they hadn't flown in more than 5 years.
My hairdresser told me he had a customer who said that Obama was the anti-christ because Nostradamus said he would come from "a dark country." He said that he told her, in a very straight-faced way, "well, maybe that means Alaska. It does stay dark up there a lot of the time. And Obama was raised in Hawaii, which is really nice and sunny."
He doesn't expect to do her hair again, but we all got a good laugh out of it!
Can't look at hometown newspaper for fear of bleeding eyes and skyrocketing blood pressure. Maybe if I'm drunk...
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