We're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Fucking Kaye!

Heeey, long time no blog, eh wot? Blame it on travel and holidays with little access to the Internets ... but I'm back, and I gather you are, too. Herewith, a rundown of what's been going on in the Gleemonex world. 

Number of cross-country flights taken with a sub-3-month-old baby: 2

Number of Shiner Bocks consumed between 12/13 and 12/30: approx. 15

Total bill, with tax, for dinner for two (including two top-shelf margaritas, two Shiners, an appetizer and two entrees) at my hometown's premier Mexican restaurant: $29.70

Hours rocked on the bass on New Year's Eve: 6.75

Number of Radiohead songs included in the above: 5

Number of teas given in honor of Kid Gleemonex by Ma Gleemonex's friends: 1

Number of people I ran into during one visit to the hometown Wal-Marts: 4

Number of times I was carded at local stores while buying alcohol: 3

My present age: 33 (34 in a few days)

Number of double tall nonfat peppermint mochas, no whip, purchased at Texas and Scotts Valley Starbuckses: 8

Number of times I order this beverage between Jan. 2 and Nov. 15: 0

Number of times I had to change the baby's diaper in a mall or restaurant bathroom: 7

Number of times Mr. Gleemonex had to do the same in an airplane lav: 1

Number of fits Kid Gleemonex threw in three weeks of being carted around the country all the livelong day: 2

Number that affected anyone but us: 0

Rank in the Lifetime Scale of Brownie Deliciousness of the Ghirardelli brownies we made at Diamond Mike & Blondie's house on NYE: 1

Number of political discussions narrowly avoided between me and the various young-Earthers and Republicans of my family and acquaintance: 6

Number of viewings of Karate Kid: 1

Of A Christmas Story: 4

Of House: 6 episodes (where has this fuckin guy been all my life?)

Number of times I asked my mom, "No, SERIOUSLY -- that's Lauren Holly? THAT'S Lauren Holly? Not Reba McEntire or ... no? Lauren Holly, really? Holy crap, what happened to her?" during the four minutes I caught of an episode of NCIS, a show I've never watched before nor ever will again: at least 15

Number of times my day was derailed in the most awesome way, by hanging out with my talkative wee bairn, who would suddenly decide to tell a long long story (complete with arm flailings and kicks) that made at least as much sense to her as the words comin out of my mouth: at least a couple dozen

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday season -- happy new year, and may Shatner bless us, every one!