Thursday, September 06, 2007

You fed a baby chili?

Thirty-seven weeks and change here, people, and I’m officially Uncomfortable. The belly enters a room before I do, I can’t find a position for sitting in a chair that doesn’t hurt my back or crunch de baby or both, and I’m sick of my four black tank tops, four black Ts and two pairs of pants. So I’m thinking ahead, past this neverending pregnancy, and I’ve come up with a list of:

A few of the things I really, sincerely hope my kid doesn’t end up getting into:

—Cuddle parties.
—The 14-years-from-now equivalent of Korn.
—Veganism.
—Martial arts.
—Phish.
—“Body art.”
—Designer handbags.
—Youth ministry.
—Dorky choral groups and/or musical theater.
—The Greek system.
—World of Warcraft.
—The Republican party.
—The sci-fi/fantasy equivalent of Harlequin romances.
—Growing a douchebaggy professor beard (or having a boyfriend who sports one).
—“I Love Lucy.”
—Motocross racing, X-treme or otherwise.
—graphic novels.
—reptiles or vermin (e.g. ferrets) as pets.
—graduate film school
—trivia or “fun fact” memorization and spouting.
—Wicca.
—camping.

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10 Comments:

Anonymous berwie said...

the wiggles. avoid the wiggles.

11:06 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

ahh yes, should've mentioned that ... also that little bitch Dora. I'll cut her, I swear I will.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Twelve said...

Won't the laws of teenage rebellion require Kid Gleemonex to love everything you hate (and vice versa)? You are destined to raise the squarest, most all-American (as defined by Prez Shrub) child in the history of the free world.

12:39 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

heh. yeah, probably! Buncha Nixon Youth in a JFK household ... that's why I'm leaving it at "hope," instead of "my kid will not."

Could be worse -- kid could decide he/she's a Red Sox fan.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Jory Dayne said...

Wicca! HAHAHAHA.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Yeah, wicca and everything else boring, silly or tedious. ;-)

3:36 PM  
Blogger bgirl said...

My kid just joined Cub Scouts...gateway drug? They give them their pinewood derby supplies in a NASCAR lunchbox. Evil-doers.

Um, hey Glee...what's a cuddle party?

6:54 PM  
Blogger Jory Dayne said...

I wish this list included shoes with wheels in the heels.

4:20 PM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Fie on the insidious beast NASCAR!! But I'm sure your kid will not drink the Kool-Aid -- he's got a smart mama, doncha know.

Cuddle parties, ugh -- Google it, it won't trip any filters at work. It's the kind of neo-hippie, get-a-life bullshit that The Kids Today are into, pretty much the opposite of my generation's don't-touch-me (mentally or physically) ethos ...

Jory, it does, it does, no worries -- but I did have to stop the list somewhere. ;-) I coulda gone on all night and all day, for reals.

7:04 PM  
Anonymous Sweet T said...

I was hoping my son wouldn't get into Disney Princesses, but he has. Hopefully your little one will be well past 4 years old before they disappoint you...

12:13 PM  

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