Thursday, May 31, 2007

Half a dozen awesome: Things about the mall when I was 13

Internets, I’ve never been a major shopper or mall person really, at least not in my heart of hearts. But like pretty much everyone, I had a Mall Phase back when I was around 12 or 13 — you ever see those roving packs of overly-made-up preteens blocking your way into the frickin Gap to get a frickin sweater for your sister’s boyfriend for xmas? I was in one of those, on many occasions back in the day. Here’s what was great about those times:

1) Total freedom to roam. We had no cars, no licenses, couldn’t go anywhere or do anything — but if somebody’s mom dropped us off at the mall, we were loosed in the wide world for HOURS. It was like I imagine being allowed downtown for the day in the fifties was — total safety, total access, pretensions to adulthood unfettered.
2) Orange Julius.
3) Claire’s.
The number of awful, cheap jewelry items we bought there — necklaces that left a green strip around your neck, earrings that would cause your earholes to crust over, bracelets that broke within hours — was truly amazing.
4) Boys. We never spoke to any of them, of course, but we could set upon a group of them and stalk them from store to store, food court to pretzel shack, all goddamn day if we wanted. And we did.
5) Breakin the law! Any of y’all that never, ever shoplifted anything — not the cheapest pair of earrings from Claire’s, not the stupidest novelty penis pencil from Spencer’s — raise your hands. […] Yeah, I don’t see any hands, y’all. Tsk tsk.
6) The opportunity to try on roles like … well, cheap bracelets from Claire’s, not to belabor a point. You and whoever you had slept over with would do each other’s hair, trade clothes, and meet up with your friends for the trip to the mall (which in our case was at least 30 miles away in a different town where nobody knows you). New eyeshadow, a side ponytail, the other girl’s scrunchies and her older sister’s fuchsia tank top = a whole new you!

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3 Comments:

Blogger bethie said...

Oh, sweet Golden Triangle!

8:10 AM  
Blogger bgirl said...

ahem. I have engaged in several (okay, many) criminal acts in my life, but shoplifting was never one of them. I'm not particularly proud of that fact because it speaks more of my chicken-shittedness than to my purity of spirit.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Ha! Yeah, the GT was the shit back in the day. Now it's ... kind of sad.

And to clarify with the shoplifting: The only time I ever did it was on accident -- I was looking at some stickers, picked out one of the little sections to buy, got to looking at other stuff, and then just walked out of the store with it in my hand. I hyperventilated when I realized what I'd done, and how horrifying the scene would've been if I'd gotten caught, and I was really freaked out. I wanted to leave the mall immediately, but settled for hiding out in a movie for a couple of hours. Gaah.

Other laws I've broken have been pretty much on purpose ... ;-)

12:57 PM  

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