Thursday, February 15, 2007

Rocket! Yea-ah! Satellite of looove!

Well, now that the Festival of Ridonculous is over -- aka Valentine's Day -- I thought I'd show up late to the party as always and jabber about it.

I've always thought of Feb. 14 as at best an excuse to eat too much and abuse me some alcohol (bonus points if it's a weeknight), and at worst a cliched and entirely cynical marketing job and cheaply-made-Chinese-crap sale. I can't imagine being torqued up about not having a date or being in a couple for the Festival of Ridonculous, and I also can't imagine going to any trouble at all to make it a Speshul Day for My Beloved (or him going to any trouble about it for me).

I mean, have you ever tried going out to dinner on Festival of Ridonculous Day? What a nightmare. I accidentally went on a first date on Feb. 14 once, back in high school -- we'd made the date for Friday, neither of us realizing it was Festival of Ridonculous Day. So Friday arrived, and I was like, "Oh, crap -- now what?" I got ahold of one of those kid valentines, you know the ones, that are like 2X3 with little cheap envelopes and some sort of licensed character on them, the kind you're supposed to give to every kid in your second-grade class? Yeah, so I found one of those, wrote his name on it, and gave it to him in the car -- he thought it was hilarious, but then got anxious because he hadn't gotten anything for me, and I was all, "DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT, bro." And finally he believed me. So then we went to see Wayne's World, and then waited for a table at Chili's for like TWO HOURS. Chili's -- fucking CHILI'S -- had a two-hour wait. At least they didn't have one of those scamtastic "special" V-day menus with like a triple-priced prix fixe set dinner, ugh.

But so anyway, Mr. Gleemonex and I have been together quite some time -- I belive this was our 15th Festival of Ridonculous together -- and we have our "thing" down really well: Good food, booze, and what have you. We always enjoy the hell out of ourselves, and we don't have to shoulder past insecure overdressed sorority chicks and tourists to do it. I told him if he ever buys me jools (like that shit from Kay or whatever) I will know he is cheating on me, and I'm totally serious about that.

Be Mine, Festival of Ridonculous-tine!



Blogger HHL said...

Excellent slashing of the Hallmarkiest of FTD holidays! Though we have only been together for two of these, me and my Ridonculous-tine have developed our own tradition -- consisting of grilled cheese sandwiches, (my special) tomato soup, and some top-shelf champagne (this year's bottle (one of two, actually) was a birthday gift from an excellent and superior giver of same, whom you may know). No jools were involved either, though we gave each other thoughtful non-perishable, non-accessory-ish gifts that we both could enjoy. I thank Saint Valentine that I'm with someone who isn't into the whole "do something extravagant for me so I can one-up my vapidly insecure girlfriends" thing.

7:26 PM  
Blogger bgirl said...

Hater, why you hatin'? Just kidding, I got my husband a wheelbarrow.

6:33 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

HHL, you certainly got a good Ridonculous-tine! That sounds like an excellent festival tradition to me. And b-girl, I highly approve of your gift selection as well -- nothing says love like a wheelbarrow.

10:23 AM  

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