Wednesday, September 26, 2012

And if you're into food porn, Farmer Boy is the best book in the history of ever.

Some Thoughts on Re-Reading, Out of Sequence and For About the Hundredth Time, the Entire Little House Series

--Goddamn, did people back then do a lot of work. I mean -- every damn thing was so. much. work. Pa had to make his own bullets. You don't get butter all winter long because you can only have butter if the cow makes enough (and fatty enough) milk. Time to get dressed! See you in about a half hour. Would you like some lace on that dress? Get yourself some silk thread and knit the damn lace, then sew it on with a needle and thread in your "spare time." Want some mashed potatoes? Here's some seed potats. Go plant them in the sod and try to keep the varmints out of them and dig up whatever you manage to save sometime next year, then peel them, mash them, and eat them (minus butter, because see above).

--Garth Williams could have spent a few more days at the ol' drafting table working on his human figure drawing. I mean, sometimes he nails it, but sometimes ... well, there are a few in there that look like they might've inspired the Fraggles.

--That family was laid low by scarlet fever. You'll never read such a piteous description of a family as the one that begins By the Shores of Silver Lake.

--Various parts of all the books, but especially Little House in the Big Woods, are so process-heavy that they'd be handy to have around if/when The Shit goes down. Might need to know how to butcher a pig, make a straw hat, and render your own soap when the pipeline stops, ya dig?

--Lots of times, while the work of the house is going on, it's somebody's job to corral the youngest kid and keep her from danger and/or obstruction of stuff, which just proves that that kind of thing is universal.

--I really, really appreciate shit like Gore-Tex and insulation and moisture-wicking fabrics. Because DAMN.

--These books are so well-written and so beautiful -- it really is just such a pleasure to read them, and I'm sorry for anyone whose idea of the books is based on or significantly colored by that stupid hokey 70s teevee show -- y'all are missing out.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Amblus said...

In some alternate universe you and I are best friends. You know what I love so much? The crazy food descriptions in Farmer Boy. And the dugout house in Plum Creek. And all of it.

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Maggie said...

#1 is the main reason why I hope an apocalypse never goes down in my life time. I cannot handle that much physical labor to get some damned butter for my bread (that I'd have to plant, grow, grind, and bake my damned self).

11:12 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Hee, Amblus ... totally, totally.

Maggie: Me too! I mean, it'd be fun for like a week -- satisfaction of a hard day's work and all -- but then it would be terrible forever.

10:34 AM  
Blogger francine said...

I JUST chatted about Laura's corn husk doll the other day because I'm scared my child is going to lose her Lovie and Pottery Barn discontinued this specific line of them that it made and... I mean.... come on... if we all had corn husk dolls then we could easily replace lost and damaged ones in a jiffy. Also, I like the thought of salty ham hocks getting cured in the barn. I had a box set of those books and am inspired to dig them out!

5:13 PM  

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