Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Vamonos Pest

A Partial List of Things That Could Drive a Person to Some Pretty Serious Day-Drinking If That Person Were Just a Little, Tiny Bit Less Responsible Than Your Old Pal Gleemonex

--Where are the god. DAMNED. immunization records for Kid Gleemonex? I KNOW we had them here, in the house, post-move. I know we did. I've looked in every mother-effing cranny of this entire mother-effing house, TWICE, and now the anger ... it flows ... to the tips of the fingers and the ends of the hair ... feel it burn ... the annnngerrrrr ...

--Fellow Elance contractors: You are not doing ANY OF US any good with these bullshit lowball bids. You're gonna write fifteen 500-word articles for that numbnuts for two dollars per? Are you converting to 1936 dollars or something? Fucking quit it! All you're doing is teaching these people we'll accept the worst most bullshit pay for their idiocy. If you need two dollars that bad, I'll fuckin mail it to you.

--The fat black spider re-spawn point on the wall of my bedroom. The wall of my bedroom. I would make the executive decision to have the entire house tented by exterminators, expense be damned, but Breaking Bad ruined that idea reaaalll good for me.

--Having your second cup of coffee cockblocked, one way or another, every single goddamned morning by the very people -- the two sub-five-year-old REM-sucking vampires -- who cause you to need a second cup of coffee in the goddamned first place.

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Blogger Kingfish said...

Feel your pain on the Elance. I used to use it for an extra buck or two, up until that's all it would pay.why would anyone want to hire someone willing to only get paid that much?

6:47 AM  
Blogger Gleemonex said...

Exaaaaaactly. Grrr. I've found a couple of clients who are decent, but half the time I browse the jobs and I'm like, nooooo ... omg you gotta be kidding ... ha ha ha fuck you ... yeah, no ... pssssht ... (etc.). I'm feeling grateful that I'm only doing it for walkin-around money, not to pay the mortgage, because holy Shatner ...

9:37 AM  

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